Expanding On Coaching

I was recently coached about my dissatisfaction with work and “finding my calling”

I spoke about how…
– I feel dissatisfied – I think I’m wasting my days – I have no real energy or enthusiasm for my job – I keep comparing my job/situation to others – I miss the simplicity of my last job – I miss creativity – I don’t know what I’m good at, where I should be doing or really want to do

My homework was to daydream about what it is I imagined I’d be doing. What is it I want to do and to look at that as a possibility. This is something that brings up some emotion for me and a thinking spiral. But I want to bring someone of the daydreaming to AAC and see what next steps I can do with it.

As a child I loved to draw and read. From a very early age I knew I wanted to go to Uni to study textiles. I knew I wanted to be a print designer. Maybe I wasn’t successful at it because of a combination of not enough hard work on my end and not being very good at it. But I loved it – until I graduated and it became hard to attain as a career and one that paid well. I wanted the security and safety net of a full time job that paid well and print design didn’t give me that. But then maybe I should’ve tried harder to make it work and eventually it would’ve done. Maybe I should’ve been grateful I lived at home and didn’t need to rush for independence.
I still love to read now. I love the time before/after work when I get to read my books. It’s the only thing I feel good at. It’s the only thing I don’t beat myself up with. I feel proud when I look at how many books I’ve read, even though I know some people really hundreds more. I don’t draw anymore but I often think about trying it again.

Sometimes I wish I hadn’t chosen a creative industry, sometimes I think to myself what it would’ve been like to work with children or been a teacher. Recently I thought to myself what it would be like to be a children’s speech therapist. I remember once I thought about being an art therapist.

When print design didn’t work out and I went into retail I tried to get my foot back in the industry and did an internship in fashion trends. I loved it! I thought that was my calling but it never happened – again maybe because I didn’t try enough… I also generally believe I didn’t believe in myself enough. Plus I didn’t know how to make that dream work.
I sometimes think now about that being my career and how much I would love it. Ok it’s probably more than this bu to me it’s pictures and words and researching – I enjoy that!

All that being said changing paths feels so unachievable now I have commitments – a mortgage, a flat, bills. I also feel time running out – I want to go abroad and see places and potentially own a home with my boyfriend. I can’t have it all, I know I can’t. But it’s knowing where to go with everything I’m feeling – where to go with these daydreams. The more I daydream, the more lost I feel and the more regretful for past dreams not happening.

 

Answer:

 

It’s so important to remember that the first place our brains are going to want to go is towards negativity. As humans, we have inherent negativity bias and we just naturally gravitate that way. Your brain doing that just means it’s your brain searching for what it thinks went wrong so you can avoid pain in the future…and, like many brains that do that, it is not working as well as it had intended to. Now that you’ve gone through the first iteration of where your brain goes when you daydream – let’s call it a crummy first draft – what has the space to emerge next?

You get to set the parameters for your brain going forward, and you totally can. What are some parameters that would (or that you imagine might) help you stay directed as you dream instead of going into the spiral?