Expanding On Coaching Part 2

Thank you for your help on my previous post.
Please could I possibly ask you to expand on what you mean when you say “what has the space to emerge next?”
I was also a bit unsure about parameters, “You get to set the parameters for your brain going forward, and you totally can. What are some parameters that would (or that you imagine might) help you stay directed as you dream instead of going into the spiral?”

I brought this up again on the Adulting call this week and although I didn’t go into detail I came up with the idea of exploring what I enjoy the most and making it easy:
1. Make Time For It – either a Monday or Tuesday evening as it feels an extension of the weekend so I don’t have to be too worried about chores etc.
2. Write Down Things To Try/Explore
3. Have a playlist/ Have an easy dinner ready/ Maybe some nice food/A cosy setting

Here is my model for this:
C: Wanting to bring creativity in to the week
T: This can be easy and fun
F: Excitement
S: Buzz
A: Create a list of things I want to try / Find a fun playlist, shows or films to have on during
R: Pick thing I want o try and get creative for a couple of hours after work

Bridge Ts:
I don’t need to make this aimed at finding my calling
This is my release/outlet
It’s not the wrong or right outlet, my choice isn’t permanent and I can change it up at any time!

Part of me though does still feel like this is putting a band aid over how I feel but I’m also trying to think openly about how this might bring self-trust, self-belief and so many other emotions and feelings in order to figure something out; figure out what I want. And I have to put my worries at the back of my mind for now.
On top that, my mind goes to this place where I’m like “ok but I also need to work out and stop putting that off so I’ve got to do that before or after work. And then I have to make sure I do housework and food shopping as well. Then I have to make sure I have time with my partner. If I didn’t need to find my calling I wouldn’t have to worry about creating extra tasks or exploring things because I would be doing what I want to do already”.
It just feels difficult to fake enthusiasm at work. Something my manager said today I’ll be honest I didn’t really care about but had to act as if I was happy and excited for the company and what we’ve achieved. As a footnote to that, I’m in Autumn CD23 so that inner critic is loud and heavy and my energy feels a little low.

 

 

Answer:

 

The model looks fun, and I love the perspective shift about what this might bring to you in terms of self-trust and self-belief!

When we say, “What has the space to emerge next,” in the context of your previous submission, we mean that you’ve already done your first draft of day dreaming and looking back, there are things you can edit and revise or restructure. I’ll give you a personal example. I know that when I get super future focused, I start to panic. So, I give myself some structure. How far do I want to look out? How long (like how many minutes) is it ‘safe’ for my brain to linger there (because I also tend to panic if I linger too long). If I notice myself going to the past and starting to focus on what I HAVEN’T done, or mistakes I’ve made, I say, “I hear you, I see you, the best I can do is start where I am now.” And yes, it can sometimes be uncomfortable and hard feelings do arise.

You get to write the rules for how you day dream. It doesn’t have to be loosey goosey to be a powerful dream adventure. What would support you? Time limits? Options for when you notice yourself starting to hyperfocus on the past? Get curious about how you want to keep yourself directed with opportunity to explore, with boundaries to respect so that the exploration is fun and fruitful.