I had some useful coaching in response to my question about going through life as if there’s a rush. I’ve done a thought download on how this shows up for me. What came up is that I sometimes rush on a day to day basis as part of perfectionism / wanting to be ‘up to date’ – with housework and things being in order around the home, and at work wanting tasks to be complete / inbox clear at the end of my day. I’ve had an awareness around this and taken some steps to address it, but it still shows up a lot – I’m definitely in an activated state when I’m doing it, and I’ve made progress in that I recognise that when it’s happening, but I’m consciously deciding to stay there, rush around and put things in order, knowing that I’ll feel better when things are neater / finished.
The other way it shows up is when I think about all the areas of my life I want to work on, and compare myself to others. I feel an urgency and graspiness there.
Reflecting on both of these areas, I’m making it all mean that I’m inferior / inadequate for not being able to stay calm and not rush around doing unimportant things, and for not being further along with my personal development.
I’ve started a model but am getting stuck with it.
C: Me rushing?
T: I should be better than this
F: Inadequate
?
What’s been coming to mind a lot for me lately is a need or desire to work with trust. This is the energy I’d like to feel around my goals, and I also think leaning into trust would help me to move away from control / over structuring / ordering / perfectionism on a practical level day to day.
Some more input would be great!
Answer:
Can you think of a specific situation that happened recently when you noticed this activated state? Being specific really helps us see what’s going on because the models are much easier and more clear. You can take what you learn in one model and apply it anywhere else the same patterns come up. We sometimes say “all roads lead to Rome.” in coaching. Pick one thing and see what comes up. You can have multiple models about the same situation, one for each thought that is bringing an emotional response.
I would offer that the things that are important to you and how you want to show up are not a problem. Liking an empty inbox and a tidy house,etc. are still things you may want to continue doing. The thing we can work on is your reasons and your energy. If you leaned into trust and believed you were totally going to figure this out what would be different for you?
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