Family moving to my area Pt 3

It felt reassuring and validating to read your response, that said we are allowed to have a whole range of feelings. I think I had been trying to find exactly how I felt – either happy or unhappy – about the move, and of course it’s much more nuanced than that.

It feels absolutely right to go with your suggestion of changing tack for now, and to figure out what I want to think about myself during this transition, rather than worrying how it will or won’t work – which is unknown.

I started with how I’d like to feel, which is compassionate towards myself during this big transition.

I had a go at a model

C: The first few months with my mum and sister living nearby

T: I am kind towards myself, and accepting of all feelings, during this brand new situation

F: compassion

A: I prioritise my self care practices during this time

A: I am kind and curious towards myself during times of being triggered or times of tough feelings

A: I allow the relationships with my mum and sister to develop and build naturally, rather than over engineering it and taking on all the responsibility of making it work

I’d love to hear what you think of the model and any next steps. The move is happening in less than a month, so maybe it is now a case of practicing this thought and then seeing what comes up once they are actually here?

Answer:

YES YES YESSSSS! This is gold. Pure gold. The human experience isn’t either/or…it’s a whole lot of ands. I think that this is a wonderful go at a model, and it’s a great idea to practise this in other triggering circumstances. I do wonder…what would you say to your younger self if she was facing a similar situation or anticipating similar feelings? Imagine that you’re doing what physically comforts her. What words go along with that? What does that allow her to feel and do or not do? What result does that create? What model feels like it fits best…check in with your body on this one.

On the topic of accepting all of you…and your hard days…now might be a great time to come up with a Hard Day Protocol for the days that you feel some unpleasant feelings or are just having a good ol’ fashioned crummy day with your mom and sister. Check out episode 87 of the podcast for more guidance on this and let come back to us!