Fear / scared to commit to new habits

I’ve not sent anything to ask a coach yet, apologies if this is a bit messy.

I feel I am scared to commit to new habits.
I joined TFC to support perimenopausal symptoms. I fell I resist trying the general fixes –
Mainly dietary changes, or I try but don’t last more than a couple of days. Part of my brain is saying i need a bespoke plan/ this won’t work for me.

When I try to cut down or give up alcohol it’s from a place of lack no matter how much I think about it in a different way. I Worry about social situations with my family, they have critiqued and made fun in the past when I’ve chosen not to drink at a family occasion.
I know this is about them and not me but I Prefer to ‘get holidays/ occasion over with’ then start and see if it will last (in the past) I can’t deny however I do enjoy a drink, I associate pleasure with it, I think that’s why my brain resists giving it up which I feel will help my symptoms,
energy and skin issues.
It’s the Same with food, there’s simple things I know I can do to help, less sugar, caffeine, gaps between meals, lots of protein.
I’m just hit and miss all the time and can’t create structure that I can stick with. My Brain is very good at talking me out of things.

It’s my 40th this week, I’ve been a keen CrossFit goer for 5 years and this year I reduced my sessions a lot 1) to help my energy levels as it was becoming too much alongside work & family.
2) I had to because my husband’s job changed and he is away some evenings now. I’ve noticed I’m also scared to go after physical goals,
fitness and physique related despite not feeling great about my body at the l moment. I wonder What if I fail, can’t maintain, or it’s restrictive and I don’t try anything, I just tick over.

I hope this makes some kind of sense. This is my messy imperfect action instead of thinking about how best to articulate this I thought i would throw it down and send.

Thanks so much in advance.

 

Answer:

Welcome! Thank you for sending all of this in. We love messy.

There are facts and there is story. What are the facts you can see? The rest is story and that’s great news because it means we can change it any time we want to.

One of the thoughts you shared that seems like a fact is this: I feel I am scared to commit to new habits.

Yep. You and every other human on earth. Our lower brain’s job is to seek pleasure, avoid pain and conserve energy. Making new goals, eating differently, having less alcohol all goes against this.

Once you know this you can question your thought and ask yourself….So what? Why is it a problem for you that you’re scared to commit? Is this a thought you want to keep? Is it serving you? You can put it in a model and see the result you are getting.

C: I have a 40 year old body

T: I feel I am scared to commit to new habits

F: how does this thought feel?

A: try things and quit, worry about what others think, speak to myself unkindly, mentally spiral, what else do you do or not do?

R: I don’t commit to new habits (I prove my thought true)

This model will keep you stuck. Have compassion for yourself as you explore this. Be curious. You are a whole and worthy person just as you are. What would be different if you believed that?