Fear to pursue the career I am longing for in my heart

I have trained both in traditional academia and on a more alternative path in body- and respiration therapy. I love the work, and I am convinced of its usefulness and beauty. I know that I am good at it. Nevertheless, every time I prepare and host a seminar I am flooded by self doubts and I have a really stressful time during the preparation period. I long for offering more seminars and start to offer one-to-ones as well, but so far I haven’t done it. I simply don’t do it. I live on Procrastination Island surrounded by the Avoidance Sea… … … Now, I have teamed up with my boyfriend for the idea of hosting a one-time event, for now. But, he lives on the same island, and I just don’t go for it.

Unintentional Model:

C: Host the freaking event
T: There are too many people offering similar things and no-one will chose ours. I will let the people who show up down when I fail by choosing the wrong words, the wrong exercises, by not being experienced enough myself.
F: Fear and Sadness… maybe also bitterness
S: Nausea, heavy back, low energy, stagnation
A: Procrastination
R: No event

Intentional Model:

C: same
T: People will be nourished by the space, presence and guidance that I have to offer.
F: Fear 🙂 cautious, slow excitement, curiosity
S: Good butterflies in the stomach, feeling awake, posture straightens
A: Planning, practice, invitations… Hosting, in the end.
R: I have tried something new, I have made the experience that what I give is of value to other people, that I can open spaces of connection and self-awareness for other people.

 

 

Answer:

 

Let’s check in on your UM model first. First, what is the actual C line? Keep it to just the facts – Event Idea. You have two different thoughts in the T line…this means you have an opportunity to do two different models. Which feeling in the F line belongs to each thought? While we can have many feelings coming from one thought, which feeling pairs best in this circumstance? You can’t make the wrong choice here…you’ll learn about yourself every way you go.

The R line can be simplified as well. I’d say that the two thoughts you have in your UM would create these two results, most likely…

1: I don’t choose to support or put energy into our offering
2: I let myself down by not believing in myself, the exercises I choose, and my own experience

How do those land?

When it comes to procrastinating, humans often avoid what they know they need to do because they don’t want to feel something while they are doing the thing. What don’t you want to feel when you are camped on Procrastination Island?