Feedback on my Intentional Model

I usually get very triggered by the clutter and mess in our home and I’m working on having different thoughts and feeling about it. I came up with these 2 models.
Unintentional model:
C: House is untidy
T: my life is a mess/ Why It’s always me who have to clean up!/This mess is dragging me down
F: Crappy, frustrated, ungrounded
A: Not work on my project, fight with my husband
R: Tension and negativity in the house. Not working on my project

Intentional model:
C: House is untidy
T: Our life is full and rich
F: Able to let go, empowered, relaxed
A: Work on my project undistracted
R: Good energy in the house/ Work on my project

I’m practicing working on models and often I find that my actions and results tend to correspond. Which questions I could ask myself to differentiate them?
Thank you!

 

 

Answer:

The word untidy is too subjective to be in your circumstance line. What one person thinks is untidy is different than another. It could even be different for you depending on the day. Make the circumstance line only facts. Don’t use any words that are open to interpretation. Look around and notice where items are in your home. Notice how many of each item there is. That is your circumstance. It’s important to not skip this step and try to think a positive thought about a what you believe is a negative circumstance. You don’t have to like where all the items in your home are but if you can see it as a fact that you can think anything you want to about then you’ll be able to take your power back.

For the rest of your model, keep just one thought and one emotion in each model. If you have a question in the thought line, answer it. The action line you can fill out as much as you want. Write everything you do or don’t do when you are feeling that way. How do you show up when you are frustrated?

The result line is your result and it comes from the sum of the action line but it always refers back to the thought. Fill in this model:

C: factually describe your house

T: Why is it a problem that your life is a mess?What are you making it mean?  the answer is your thought.

F: how do you feel when you think this way?

A: how do you show up when you feel this way. What do you do. What do you not do?

R: What is your result?

Often in cases like this our result is we keep finding evidence that our thought is true. If it’s a thought that your husband never helps out, you’ll see that everywhere. If it’s a thought that there’s something wrong with you, you’ll keep reinforcing that. You get stuck in a cycle of proving yourself true and it’s not very much fun. See what comes up as you stay with your unintentional model and bring back any questions.