Feeling adventurous (or not)

Hey,

I’ve just come off the Being Adventurous call and wasn’t brave enough to get coached so coming here instead.

I’ve been trying to conceive for a couple of years and after a couple of pregnancies losses during that time (most recent 6 months ago), I felt like I was flip flopping around saying things like ‘I don’t know if I want a baby’ and thinking a lot of outdated thoughts ‘I’m too old’, ‘I’ve left it too late, ‘maybe this isn’t for me’ blah blah blah. So following the spirit of Late Summer and being decisive, I just decided that I wanted to have a baby and it felt pretty good in my body. Then it came to Clearing the Way and I realised that I was holding a lot of grief, guilt, regret. While my first thought was ‘let it go’, I’ve just kind of sat with it as I realised that maybe I haven’t processed this and not ready to let it go just yet. My resources feel a little depleted at the moment, my energy is low and I feel a bit stuck / unmotivated at home and at work. I do want to feel adventurous and determined about trying to conceive but in reality it feels quite constrained and cautious (which I know is just my thoughts). When I think about adventure I’m drawn to adventure outside of my goal, wild swimming, climbing mountains, getting fit for these things, starting a new career, retraining, and I guess I’m curious for any coaching around this.
Thank you 🙂

 

 

Answer:

Thank you so much for your question. First, I would offer that it’s not “just your thoughts” holding you back from adventurously entering into a pregnancy. When you’ve experienced loss, you have experienced deep pain. Your brain wants to protect you from that pain.  So your nervous system will have a reaction to pregnancy or potential pregnancy. This generally increases the more losses we have. Give your nervous system some love. Do what you need to do to tend to those parts of you that are still carrying some trauma in your body. Expect that you probably won’t be able to entirely let go of feeling constrained and cautious. What if you could take them with you on this journey? And it wasn’t a problem?

How could leaning into adventures in your life help you lean into trying again? How could adventures replenish the depleted parts of you?

There is power in making a decision. Do a thought download and see what you find when you have this Circumstance:

C: I want to begin TTC on x date

Bring back any models or questions that you find.