Feeling frustrated & stuck and wanting change VS. scarce mentality

Hello lovely coaches.

So, I live and work in the same place (on an estate) with my partner (who also lives and works here). As a result, our lives revolve around work.. work in general, work politics, our neighbours are also our colleagues, work work work. It can be hard to disconnect and switch off, we have to be really mindful to not let it be all our brains think about. We are finding it increasingly difficult being here… on paper we have wonderful jobs, a free house, no bills to pay – it’s all pretty ideal, but in reality we are frustrated and feel stuck. Our work doesn’t feel fulfilling. We don’t have a community of friends, we don’t really like the area we live in, and it feels like all we do is work!

This weekend we agreed we want to plan to move after the summer season (probably Oct / Nov) and find other things. I know this is the right step, as we aren’t really living our lives to the fullest at the moment. However, I am scared that we won’t find anything that will be so forthcoming financially for the two of us. I know I want change but I am so scared we won’t find anything better.

Any help reframing this and helping me move out of fear and into trust?

 

Answer:

The first thing to understand is that nothing is going wrong. You are thinking about doing something different, and the brain is responding the way that it is programmed. The brain is programmed to protect us from using extra energy. Doing something new takes extra energy, because there is learning and adjustments. That is why there is discomfort in growth. You have to do something new to grow.

So if the fear is expected, how do you allow it to be there and feel trust? That is where your “why” comes in.

You want to live your life to the fullest.
You want to have a community of friends.
You want to do more than work.

Are there ways to create these three things where you are?

To answer this, it may help to understand what it means to live life to the fullest. In what ways are you living life to the fullest now?

Sometimes we try to change our situation to feel better. The problem with this is that it is our thought that creates that feeling. If we don’t see that it is our thought, and we keep changing our situation, we may never achieve that feeling. If you can see the ways that your current situation does not create frustration, then you may see the value in what you have. If you see that value, and still want more, what would stop you from finding what you needed financially?