Feeling like I constantly have to work against myself

Dear coaches.
I notice an almost constant friction or resistance against doing ‘things’. It feels like a lot of effort to get myself started on stuff like cooking, my self-planned training sessions, cleaning, sitting down for work, going out for a walk, doing laundry or starting a task that might even be enjoyable after the intitiation… Some of these examples are things that bring me great joy and meaning in life (like my training) or are simply impossible to not do in my life situation. Still it feels effortful and especially with those activities, that I actually enjoy once I am in the groove of it, I do not understand what the problem is. Because – if I really don’t want to train, I can skip a day and nothing will happen. It is my own decision to do it or not. Just that I am also usually upset if I procrastinate to long or not get the thing that is next in my schedule done. I enjoy being productive and ticking things off. And I am adulting myself gently and I am not mean with me if I skip some of the tasks.
I would love to start exploring this and playing with different mindsets or thoughts that may help me in these moments of starting and also following thourgh. Maybe the actual problem here is resistance to state shift? But I do struggle especially with those things that feel like effort in any way. Thank you in advance for any coaching!

 

 

Answer:

You are not alone in this. Isn’t it fun that human brains are designed to conserve energy which leads us to not do even the things we want to do some days?

What do you think would help you?  What emotion would you want to drive you to follow through and get started? How can you set yourself up for success? Get into that action line and make it work for you. For example, I find it much easier to walk when I have a partner who I know will be waiting for me. Yes, I can thought work myself into doing anything, but having accountability really makes it easier to just get up and go.

A really great tool I like to use comes from Atomic Habits by James Clear is to create an identity goal.  Instead of saying ” I will train 5 days a week.” which often sets us up to fail if we miss a day, you make a goal like “I’m becoming a person who trains even when they don’t feel like it.” or “I’m becoming a person who trains in all kinds of weather.”  You try coming up with some and see what resonates. See what resistance you notice and address it. Let this be a process, not a destination. Do this in each area you want to.