Feeling Lonely Living By Myself 2

Thank you for the helpful reminder that I transitioning back into my regular life after two weeks with my parents. The transition is usually a little difficult, and this one is especially so because I had a lot of upheaval in the last few months, so it was hard to come back and face that. I tended to myself really well today and feel better.

I also started making plans based on the information the lonely feeling is giving me. I want to make new friends who like to go to movies and do pub quiz nights and invite me to events. I also want to keep working on my thoughts that a healthy love relationship is possible for me. I’m willing to put myself out there to make new friends by creating events in a local FB group I belong to. I’m willing to try Bumble BFF. I’m willing to go on some dates, friend or otherwise. I’m not sure where to go regarding my thoughts, though.

 

 

Answer:

What about holding space for “opposing” thoughts? Make a list of sentences that run through your brain about your ability to find friends, community and a love relationship/family that you desire. Notice how you have thoughts that seem to be incongruent. But that’s the fun of being human, we have capacity for all of it.

For example:  It’s too late for me to find someone AND I could meet my person in the grocery store tomorrow.

You can also try softening the thoughts that bother you with some small shifts. Let them be there as long as they need.

T: I notice myself thinking “It’s too late for me to find someone” and that’s ok.

Keep loving yourself, allowing what is, and focusing on what you want. It sounds like you have some great ideas. We’re cheering for you.