Feeling numb when old friends and family members reach out

Hello, I’ve noticed a pattern around old friends and family members that I would love some help with. When old friends or family members like my godmother reach out and suggest a meeting, I just feel numb and disinterested. It feels like a chore to meet them and I just try to put them off. It’s not that I generally feel unmotivated to do things (when a colleague recently asked me if I wanted to go to an event with her I immediately felt excited), but when old friends or family members reach out I feel numb. I’ve been wondering where it comes from. I might have some resentment because I sometimes think that I showed more interest in them than they showed in me and that they weren’t always there when I needed them. And even if they now ask about my life, it doesn’t matter to me. I’ve emotionally detached myself from them.
Also at work I have the feeling that I’m the one that other profit from. This feeling / thought that others somehow “profit more” from me is something I would like to work on. I’m currently on day three of my cycle and feel a bit overwhelmed. So I would be really grateful for some guidance on how to unravel all this. Thank you!

 

 

Answer:

We don’t have to unravel it all, especially if you’re feeling overwhelmed. You get to decide where you put your energy (a.k.a. spoons). You only need to take one small step to start off. If you’re feeling like you want to figure this out, pick one area. Do you want to look at work or old family/friends. Either place you start to work on will very likely teach you lessons you can apply in the other.

Why is it a problem that you feel numb when they reach out? What are you making it mean? What do you want to feel towards your old friends and family members? What are you thinking when your godmother invites you vs when your colleague invites you. You’re right on track noticing that it’s your thoughts that are bringing up different emotions. Just let yourself explore it more without needing to fix it yet.