Feeling Numb When Old Friends And Family Members Reach Out Pt. IV

Thank you for your response! I played with different thoughts and the thought “I took care of myself as best as I could with the skills and knowledge I had at that time” feels good to me. I created a model with this thought:

Unintentional model
C: the time of my graduation
T: my father and brother ruined this moment for me
F: extremely angry
A: I dwell on it
R: resentment
(R: I live in the past)

C: the time of my graduation
T: I took care of myself as best as I could with the skills and knowledge I had at that time
F: calm
A: I focus on the good moments at that time (i. e. the moments where I did celebrate with different people in different ways)
R: acceptance (I think that’s really the result that would help me the most)
(R: I move forward)

I think that all this is related to a bigger story I tell myself, namely that my father and brother robbed me of something while they somehow profited (from me). And this is also why I feel numb when they reach out to me. Recently, I’ve felt ready to drop this story. I think it would be way more helpful for me to appreciate and be grateful for my current life and give myself the agency to continue to build the life I want from there. I might submit a different question with regard to this 🙂 Thank you in advance for any feedback.

 

 

Answer:

Your results could also be UM R: I ruin this moment for me.   IM R: I take care of me

You’re on the right track that your first model keeps you in the past, but notice how what it really does is brings the past into today. They did something a long time ago, and you are choosing to ruin today by continuing to tell the same story.

Your intentional model has you ready to go. You’ve stopped beating yourself up and blaming it on them.

Celebrate you for being ready to drop these painful parts. That is such a powerful place to be. What does it feel like? What are the sensations in your body? What energy is gathering towards you?