Feeling safe

I got coaching a while ago on safety after having a seizure for the first time. And something I really got from that was the fact that I was obstructing my goal (to feel safe and happy in my body) by saying to myself that I “could never be in a safe situation”

Since then I have really tried to challenge that. And it’s not easy, but I think I’ve made so much progress since the last time. I do have more good days now and can actually get behind the goal and think of it as possible. This has helped me a lot with my sleep and with my health overall. So I am really happy I choose to challenge myself on this.

What I am struggling with now is how I picture the future. As much as I feel more and more that I could be possible for me to feel safe. I now that I have to do many adjustments in my plans. I don’t get to wear myself out anymore. And I am really angry about that. I study art, and it is kind of expected that you work yourself to the max and then go and be social after that (at least among my friends). It feels like I have to do some big announcement to say that “I am never coming back”, and I am so scared of my life becoming boring now. I am also afraid that I can’t network in my new “state” where I have to take things slow. And generally just really overwhelmed by everything relating to coming back to my studies and overall life.

could I get some coaching on this?:)
– Thanks in advance!

Answer:

We are so happy to see you back here with an update about the progress that you’ve made with your goal! Massive congratulations! Let’s dive in..

When life hands you a new bag of lemons, it’s completely natural to think something like, “But I want my OLD bag of lemons!” and feel angry, scared, and overwhelmed by the changes that you think the new lemons may bring with them. It makes a lot of sense, and you get to have those feelings.

But, do you have to do the things that you say that you have to do? Not at all. You don’t have to not wear yourself out anymore, or make a big announcement about ‘never coming back’, or take things slowly. Nobody is forcing you to do any of it. Those are all thoughts. The results that will be created by making those choices, however, might not be what you want to experience in your life. This is where the beauty of deciding how you’re going to think about the changes you’re making really shines.

Your goal is to feel safe and happy within your body, and that means that some things will need to change. One thing I can guarantee is that you will feel uncomfortable on this journey sometimes – angry, scared, overwhelmed, grief. You have to decide if it’s worth it for you to have and process those feelings in order to get closer to making your goal a reality. A wise woman once said, “Discomfort is the currency of your dreams.”

When you notice unhelpful thoughts about the changes you’re making getting loud, answer these questions:

Why am I choosing to make this change/these changes?
What Ts and Fs come up when I look at my Why? What’s the loudest/strongest F&T?
On a scale of 1-10, how willing am I to experience that feeling right now?
What’s one thing I can think to make experiencing this feeling a little easier?
What’s one thing that I can do to show myself some love for choosing to do the hard thing today?

Let us know how this lands…we’re here for you. Come back for more coaching when you’re ready!