Feeling Stuck at Work

Question: I have come up with a plan that is both practical but also allows me to work toward a big life goal of mine – to move abroad and work for a social impact company. However, I am finding the path to that well-thought-through plan challenging, at times pushing me into having recurring days of feeling overwhelmed, depressed and socially withdrawn. I would like to get coached on whether its my model that needs to be updated, or if I should just expect this as an inevitable consequence of making a drastic life change.

I am trying to adopt a mentality based on my INTENTIONAL Model:

C: I have given myself until Fall 2022 (in Toronto) to quit my current full-time job and find a new opportunity that is a better match for me in London or Berlin.
T: This is a great plan because I can finish my current commitments in both my full-time job as well as my freelance work, have my scheduled surgery, save up money, and then move to Europe knowing I wrapped things up before the new chapter in my life.
F: Motivated that I am working toward my goal in a thoughtful way, confident that my decision is not impulsive and that the risks were taken into account.
A: Stay the course with my day-to-day responsibilities, clear-headed about my purpose longer-term purpose.
R: Show up to and be present in the spaces where I am a part of and make progress on the deliverables that I have committed to.

However, I find myself slipping back into the UNINTENTIONAL model:

C: Same as above
T: I feel overwhelmed and tired, I am not making progress toward and may fail on my deliverables, and will only make it harder/impossible to find a new job and move abroad.
T: I wish I could just quit everything and move now.
T: I am stuck and I wish I didn’t get my self to this point (picked a different career path, found a partner by now, or formed stronger relationships with my family in order to have people to help me through this).
F: Worried, followed by sadness and disappointment in that my “plan” and goals are not proving to be effective or realistic.
A: Procrastination, which makes me take much longer with all my tasks, which reinforces that I am not making good enough progress on all of my commitments.
R: Engage in self-harmful behaviour, withdraw from social circles, less motivated to go to the gym and engage in activities that bring me joy in my daily life.

 

Answer:

It’s important to put only one thought and one feeling in your models. This will help you see what’s happening in your brain more clearly.

Big life goals will always push us to have lots of uncomfortable emotions. It’s just your brain doing what brains do. They like to conserve energy and they don’t like uncertainty. A new job in a new country sounds like a lot of energy and a lot of uncertainty to your brain. What would be different if this wasn’t a problem, but just part of the process of getting what you want?

Answer this question and then keep bringing your models here for feedback.