Feeling stuck in dorsal vagal state

Hi

I posted in the community a few days ago about a situation and a few models to go with it, but it didn’t get any responses. So I thought it might be best to bring this one to ask a coach:

*Help with creating an intentional thought*

So yesterday I put myself forward for an opportunity, and got offered an informal interview today. After talking with my husband and after having lots of discomfort with the idea overnight, I decided to pull out because the opportunity really doesn’t fit well with my life at the moment. I’ve explained the situation to the person and really I do feel that my reasons for pulling out are valid.

But….I’ve sunk into a really low place, and am beating myself up and making this mean way more than it need to. In its simplest form – I put myself forward for an opportunity, changed my mind and decided to withdraw. But I am making it mean I am a coward and that I won’t succeed in the future.

It’s like my mind has discounted all the actual reasons why I have dropped out, and making the dropping out to do with the anxiety about the meeting today. That’s not why I dropped out, although I am relieved not to have the meeting, I would have done it if I really wanted the role.

I am having 2 recurring thoughts and have done models for these. I’d like to come to a more accepting intentional thought, that allows me to move on and just accept this for the very minuscule
Issue that it really is.

Any feedback or suggestions for the model would be helpful. And some possible intentional thoughts that remind me that it’s ok to change my mind, it’s ok not to go for an opportunity if it doesn’t feel right and it means nothing about me as a person etc.

UM 1

C: deciding not to go for the role and pulling out
T: I’m a coward for dropping out and not going along for the chat today
C: shame
A: stare off into space and stay in a negative trance like state
A: I don’t eat lunch
A: Ruminate and wonder if I should have gone
R: I feel ashamed for dropping out

UM 2

C: deciding not to go for the role and pulling out
T: I won’t be able to build my business once my youngest is at school because of my anxiety
F: Hopeless, dejected
A: worry about the future, believe I have burnt my bridges with this gym
A: Stay in a low depressed state
A: have lots of thoughts about not being cut out for this industry
R: I feel fearful about my future and what I’ll do when my daughter starts school

——-

Since writing this post, I’m still struggling with feeling low and anxious. I’ve come up with an intentional thought – that “I put myself forward for an opportunity that on reflection didn’t feel right, so I decided against it. It’s that simple”
But it doesn’t seem to be helping with the low and anxious state I’m in.

Thank you

 

 

Answer:

What if you just let yourself feel low and anxious for a little bit? You didn’t try to model out of it or come up with a perfect thought, you just got in your body and felt your feelings?

Where is the feeling? What is it doing? Describe it. Paint it, draw it, run with it. Whatever feels good to you.

Give love to the anxious thoughts. They are trying to protect you by thinking the worst, but they’re wrong about your future. How can that be true?