Finding a goal/intentional model around strengthening my relationship

My goal is around improving my relationship with my partner but I struggle to make it more specific. I originally came up with creating awareness of my thoughts and actions and effect on relationship, so my actions would be around listening to coaching calls and doing self-coaching a few times a week, but couldn’t get to a feeling that I get from ‘creating awareness’ and it didn’t feel right.
Then I listened to the intentional model, put my ‘create awareness’ goal in the result line, and by answering questions like how do I want to feel/what do I need to think, it started changing my goal more towards what I actually want for a goal. I think I want my goal around me showing up for our relationship, but still sounds a bit judgemental to myself. 
I’d like support how to get to my goal and complete my intentional model around it.

I wonder if this explanation/thought download might be helpful: I’ve been together with my partner for 10 years and I moved to the other side of the world for him about 6 years ago. I’ve never been sure until recently whether I want to move back home, knowing it would be the end of our relationship as he doesn’t want to live back home with me.
But now I start to settle on this side of the world and I’d like to believe we could actually make it together and enjoy our lives together here.
However I have a lot of negative judgmental thoughts about my partner that I’m more and more aware of and realising the negative impact I bring in our relationship by having these thoughts.
I’m an optimist, he sees bears on all roads, I tend towards solution focused thinking, my partner problem focused thinking, we’re both anxious about lots of things, which I try to address and not let it stop me from doing things and going places, my partner is accepting it and tries to keep things as comfortable as possible even if our bubble we live in becomes smaller.
I feel awfully judgy about him, and have regular thoughts, what if we wouldn’t be together and I didn’t have to deal with this negativity?
I know it’s not helping to give him suggestions when he’s feeling down about things but I can’t stop myself, which I then find annoying that he doesn’t follow up on it. I’m really interested in personal development, growing etc. looking after myself and feeling strong a lot of the time and I wish he would read about this as well to experience similar effects.
By having all these negative thoughts I can’t actually enjoy my relationship with him a lot of the time. Only when he’s in a good mood, that I enjoy fully until it turns and I feel so disappointed when that happens. I have difficulty seeing my part of not making this relationship successful and tend to just blame it on his negativity even though I’m the one being negative about all of it.
There are probably so many models in this and I find it overwhelming where to start working towards a goal. Focusing on what I can do, instead of what he can do.
ps I actually have a wonderful loving, caring, funny partner which I know I don’t have to mention, but feels better to write down.

Intentional model:

Result:
Create awareness of my thoughts and actions and effect on relationship?
Show up for our relationship? Have a loving relationship?

Actions:
Respect and accept my partners feelings and struggles without wanting to solve it.
Listen to weekly coaching call, and write up take away notes.
Making a list what I can do for my partner to show my love for him e.g. cook him a nice meal, give him a massage, take him out for a date.
Ask him regularly how he’s doing without providing suggestions.
Submit coaching request
Think about what I like about my partner and share this with him.

Emotion:
Loving, Positive, Open, Optimistic, Caring?

Thought:
I am enjoying being in a relationship with my partner.
I respect my partner and feel like we’re a team. ?

Any suggestions would be much appreciated, thank you.

Answer:

So much great awareness here. Notice how as you learned more about the model, your goals began to change. You are on the right track.

The biggest thing to realize from the model is that what your partner says does not make you feel or do anything. It is what you think about his words. Take a look

C: Partner says some words
T: He is so negative
F: Judgmental
A: Question whether to stay together, think about how he makes our space smaller, judge him for not doing self help, make suggestions to him to feel better
R: I am negative

It may feel like what he says is the reason that you feel judgmental. It may feel like when he says some words that you are negative. What is really creating this are your thoughts around what he says.

This is not saying that you should agree with him. Knowing that it is your thoughts that create this result allows you to take your power back. He is not creating this for you. You are. You get to decide what you think of his words. You get to decide how you are going to feel. Once you realize that, he can say or do what he wants, and you are in control of how you feel about it. Even if you choose to feel frustrated because you do not like hearing certain words that is still more powerful than feeling frustrated because he should be different.

So the first step in getting to your intentional model is understanding the one that you are in. Why do you not like it when he is viewing the world in his way? When you understand why you think the way that you do, you can decide what you want. From there, you can decide how to feel love or caring and what you need to believe to feel that way regardless of your partner’s actions. What would that intentional model look like?
Bring back what you come up with and we can continue to coach on this.