First trimester

I’m around 6 weeks pregnant and feeling nauseous pretty much all of the time. My partner and I have been trying to conceive for a while and whilst the pregnancy felt so exciting a couple of weeks ago, I am now feeling miserable.

My thought download:
This feeling will last forever. I can’t get through this. I won’t be able to work normally whilst feeling like this. I’m not ready to tell people, but I might need to if I need to make changes at work. I should be able to cope better than this. I’m not able to give my baby the nutrients it needs. I’m not in control. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. Maybe the whole pregnancy and having a baby will be harder than I thought, like this part is.

I can see the catastrophising when I read that back, but that is what my brain is stuck on. It’s feeling hard to access helpful thoughts right now. I’d love some coaching to help make this time feel lighter, easier, bearable.

 

Answer:

A gentle congratulations to you. The goal of thought work is not to talk yourself out of the human experience. You will have pain(meaning the hard parts of life), you will have the physical discomfort that comes with growing a human. How can you tend to this first? Sometimes we have to bring our focus back to what’s most important, which is taking care of you while your body feels this way. What would help you get through each part of the day given your current circumstances?

You’ve already noticed that you’re adding another layer of suffering with the way you are thinking. First, give yourself compassion. Why does it make perfect sense that your mind is throwing a bit of a tantrum right now? Then, you have to gently call out your brain when it lies to you. Notice where you are resisting reality. Make a list of all the things that fall into this category. You are welcome to keep thinking this way, just do it on purpose. If you want to stop, catch yourself. What do you want to say to your mind when it tells you things should be different than they are?

How can you ground yourself in the present? Do some exploring and bring back any questions or models that you find.