First trimester fear

I’m in the early stages of pregnancy and it’s had a big impact on my mental health. Honeslty, it was something I thought was off the cards for me after years of long term illness. Even though it was something I wanted. After getting pregnant I have experienced a host of symptoms. Migraines being the most debilitating and fatigue that brought me back to the frightening early stages of ME/CFS. Emotionally I have been a wreck, and really questioned my ability to parent and to follow through with the pregnancy. I was in a better space physically and I am very frightened of a significant relapse. I have been assured by my partner and family that support will be available and hiring professional help where possible. I feel like I am staring down the barrel of a gun as not getting enough sleep is a trigger for both migraine and fatigue. I feel better equipped to ask for what I want. But I am doubting my capabilities. I want to lean into ‘trusting my body’ but after being let down in the past I am afraid of what to come. I have a history of PMDD and some of these thought feel similar to those pre mensturally. I’m not sure if it’s my brain responding to the hormones or my brain traumatised from past experience of fatigue. I know this fear isn’t helpful. I’d like some suggestions for coping with unknowns and things that are out of my control.

 

Answer:

I’d like to take a moment to honor the awareness that you have of yourself both physically and emotionally. Pregnancy is not always a walk in the park, and the reality of becoming a parent can feel overwhelming in many ways – and not overwhelmingly positive. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way, it’s your brain’s response to the thoughts you’re having about the situation you’re currently in. When you are feeling afraid, take a moment to console yourself – identify one or two ways  you care for your fear and for yourself during these moments or days. This could look like hugging yourself when you start to feel afraid, or imagining your fear as a being that needs to be held and cared for – a puppy, a child, a friend. If there’s something that you turn to most often to calm your nervous system, do that when these fears arise. Next, if leaning into trusting your body feels scary and unattainable, how would leaning into trusting what you know about yourself and your body change how you act or respond toward yourself as you’re moving through this? When you’re ready to respond, please title your submission, “First trimester fear, pt. 2”.