Flatmate convo

Hi,
My flatmate has his girlfriend staying atm, they’re in a long distance relationship – and she’s here for 2 months… Except he didn’t actually communicate any of this with us directly. He casually mentioned it 2 days before she arrived in another context. And said it was for a month. Then several weeks in it came up through someone else that she was staying for 7 weeks. Which is to me nearer 2 months.
I feel really angry that he didn’t tell us directly, and I do feel that for a long stay like this there should have been a conversation about if we were comfortable with it, how it would work etc. There’s been no contribution to bills and she WFH every day….
But our flat revolves on a lot of non-confrontation. In many ways I like this. But this feels like one of those times to ‘pick my battles’. I know that it could happen again because they are in a longdistance relationship.
I want to say to him: hey, in future when she comes to visit please can you communicate more directly about the dates as soon as you know? And if its going to be more than a few weeks holiday, I would appreciate it if we could have more of a conversation about how this will work, especially given that it will impact bill costs etc.
But I’m terrified and keep putting it off, and then feeling resentful.
Do you have any advice on ripping off the plaster?
Many thanks

 

Answer:

 

We get it – hard conversations are hard! Let’s examine why you’re terrified. What’s the thought behind the feeling and putting it off?