Forgiving my past actions

There have been two times in my past where I have withheld my romantic feelings from a friend because we liked the same person. The first ended with me dating the guy and losing my best friend at the time. Although looking back she wasn’t the best of friends.

The second time was much more complex. I was with the same guy as in the story above and I became infatuated with someone. I didn’t tell my friends as I was so ashamed to have feelings for someone else. Then my best friend started dating him. I told myself my feelings would go away, and maybe they wouldn’t work out.

Years later it would all come crashing down in a way none of us would ever have expected. The guy, who I also would say was one of my best friends, gas lighted me and threw me under the bus. Him and my now ex best friend are still together.

I am finding it hard to forgive myself for my actions. And I know I need to because I am transferring the situation onto my current relationship. Myself, my current partner and my best friend are very close. However sometimes this leads to feelings of insecurity that maybe one of them fancies the other, just like I did to my best friend, and isn’t telling me. It breaks my heart to think this.

I would love some coaching on self-forgiveness and on my current projections and insecurities.

 

 

Answer:

Why do you think it serves you to continue punishing yourself for what happened in the past? Why do you think your brain wants to stay in fear and uncertainty?  Be gentle and compassionate as you explore. You don’t need to change anything yet. Sometimes finding understanding of right where you are is the most powerful thing you can do.