Friendship -being my best friend’s maid of honor is bringing up a lot

I was recently asked to be the Made of Honor in my Best Friend’s wedding and have found it to be really challenging. There are a ton of contextual details I am temped to explain in detail related to large guest lists, sky-rocketing costs, and managing different personalities but when I try to be self-responsible, I think there are deeper dynamics at play. I am really struggling to find a place where I can operate in my own integrity and while also honoring her wishes, which she genuinely deserves. It takes me back to feelings I had in teen years. Back then, I was apt to simply change my circumstances and not spend time with a certain person or not spend money a certain way, it feels like in this situation, changing the circumstance is not as much of an option. I am also feeling betrayed by my friend often thinking, “how could she put me in this situation” which I also need to take ownership around. What are some initial questions I can process through to get to a more self-responsible place where better decision-making can happen?

 

 

Answer:

There may well be a ton of contextual details, but let’s pick just one. What is bothering you the most? Do a thought download and just let it all out. No editing, no judging. You can burn this later. Do some models and some exploring.

You’re spot on with recognizing that you do have choices and can take ownership in this wedding situation. First, give yourself some love. Why does it make perfect sense that that’s not easy to do right now?

I would also offer that your brain seems to think that if you were self-responsible then this wouldn’t be uncomfortable, but what if you’re wrong about that? If everything is 50/50 what could that look like for you as a Maid of Honor?