Friendship with ex partner 2

Thank you so much for your input! Removing the labels, I think I want him in my life and I want him to be close to me. Also physically – hugging him still feels special and I missed this feeling a lot the past months. And I love the thought of just two humans whose paths have crossed.

Still, I don’t really trust myself to know what I want. All of this is pointing in the direction of getting back together with him and this makes me worry. What if I’ve just missed having someone to hug and kiss and share my life with but in the end I don’t love him enough to make a longterm relationship work again? I feel like he still thinks I’m the most awesome person in the whole world while I see so many of his flaws. I don’t want to be careless and rekindle the relationship just to end it again because I realise I can’t love him unconditionally. I don’t want to hurt him again. I guess I’m overresponsible here – but I don’t really know how to deal with my anxiety around this going wrong which conflicts with my body telling me to go hug this human and enjoy that someone sees me for who I am and still likes me. It’s always quite hard for me to figure out my feelings and the current situation leads to my nervous system being activated whenever he’s around which makes all of this really hard to navigate for me.

Looking forward to your thoughts on this!

 

 

Answer:

Ground yourself in your values.  What do you believe about relationships? What kind of partner do you want to be? What kind of friend? How do you want to treat people? What is appropriate with someone you care about but aren’t in a relationship with? How do you want to treat YOU?  What do you believe you deserve in a relationship?

Your questions are full of wisdom. It’s ok to be uncertain. One step at a time.