Getting A Cleaner Part 2

What do you think is a good enough reason to hire a cleaner?

“Good enough” reasons seem to be: being disabled or chronically ill (physically incapable), being a single parent or having lots of kids or having a kid with no family support, having a large number of dependents or care responsibilities, being a single man (I realised that it feels ‘acceptable’ to me for single men to get a cleaner but not single women…)

What do you think about people who do have a cleaner come in?

People who have a cleaner coming in seem to be wealthy/rich (with negative associations), entitled, lazy.

What messages have you gotten in your life about how one should maintain their home?

I realised in reflecting on all of this that I didn’t think twice about my father-in-law getting a cleaner after his divorce whereas my mother-in-law who was looking after four kids at home as a single mom didn’t have a cleaner, and that contrast didn’t strike me as odd until now. I don’t really know anyone else who’s had a cleaner. My nan who was in her early 90s when she died kept a spotless home until her death and didn’t have a cleaner, she did it all herself – her home was cleaner than mine, I don’t know how she did it but it must have been so much work. In summary the message seems to be, unless you’re wealthy (and therefore somehow a bad person) or incapacitated – if you are a woman, you should clean your own home, and it is shameful not to do so. The home should always be clean and the work of keeping it clean should be largely invisible and done by a woman.

Basically, as a woman, it feels like my role and my DUTY to be the cleaner of my own household.

Obviously I don’t agree with all of this but this is the patriarchal programming in my brain that is running the show right now.

 

Answer:

 

Great examination going on here! Well done.

Let’s invite the patriarchal programming in for a cuppa and a conversation that’s seated in curiosity and compassion. What do you have to say to it? What does it have to say to you?