Giving affection part 2

What do you think that feeling reserved about expressing your love physically at other times of the day means about you? Let’s start there and see what you uncover.

I had a really nice chat with my husband about my question, I really want this to be a journey he is involved with.

1. Feel self concious giving affection to him. Why? I’m not really sure. Its out of my comfort zone?
2. I didn’t grow up with my parents giving each other affection, and I often feel like I act like they do by day.
3. Am I worried it won’t be reciprocated? It usually would be but we are still on a journey of me understanding myself better and being able to regulate myself.

All of these reasons are possible. I know what I want to be in terms of being a physically expressive partner – yet it seems really hard to change overnight. I feel like there are some rocks or ladder steps I need to think about??!

 

Answer:

Change overnight does not always (or even often) mean that you are living 1000% in your intentional model and doing it all perfectly. Changing overnight could be making a decision to do reach out to ask a coach for help, or committing to being affectionate in a certain way three times a week for a month because you’re curious about whether you could become accustomed to, or even enjoy it.

You are totally on the right track wondering about smaller steps you can take on your journey to being intimate with your husband in a new way. What is a meaningful but not overwhelming first step? What would you need to do, or not do, to make that first step happen? What will you need to feel to do or not do those things? And what do you need to think to be able to feel that way? Lastly, what do you think might get in your way of doing this, and how can you navigate those obstacles? Come back to us for some more coaching on your model and your plan when you’re ready.