Goal about safety

Just a week ago I had a seizure, and I ended up in hospital for a few days. I am still not fully recovered, and the experience has left me scared of what my body can do and very tired.
For a long time now I’ve only had goals related to my studies, but I feel very strongly that I have to change my focus since this has happened. I’ve been wondering if my goal should be to feel safe and happy in my body.

Here are some models I’ve done on my goal:

F: I have set a goal to feel safe and happy in my body.
T: Prioritising my health will get in the way of my studies
E: Scared
A: I am scattered, sometimes taking care of my health and tending to my needs, sometimes not, when I get sick I overlook it, I push past tiredness, I do things the way I think “everybody else does them”
R: My health will get in the way of my studies

IM
F: have set a goal to feel safe and happy in my body.
T: This is something I can decide to do
E: clear
A: spending time in the flow collective learning, taking breaks when my body needs it, being curious about different ways of working
R: I have decided to choose safety.

I´ve tried in these models to test out how I feel about the goal. But I must admit I am very hesitant that I can do it. Part of it is that the illness I’ve got is partly uncontrollable, and I struggle with the knowledge that I can never really know if I am safe in a situation. (I am of course on medication and talking to doctors at the moment. But it is a tricky disease).

So what I want to know is if you have any thoughts on how I can best present my goal for my self to proceed?

Thank you!

 

Answer:

We are so glad you are both taking time to recover, and doing some reflective work on selecting your goals for this spring. Before we dive in, I’d like to acknowledge that your models are solid. Well done!

The interesting thing about the thought, “I can never really know if I’m in a safe situation” is the result it creates. You’ve already decided that you won’t meet your goal because you are leaning into a version of you that feels unsafe now, and will continue to do so. When you read that suggestion, what thoughts come up? How do they make you feel? Do you like the way they make you feel? If not, why not?

Before we can pose this goal to yourself in a way that sets you up for success, ask yourself these questions:

• Why this goal? What would it mean for you if you were to achieve it? Why is that important?

• On the other hand, look deeper into why you haven’t set this goal yet. I suspect it has something to do with fear about what the thought ‘never knowing if you’re in a safe situation’ means about you and your future. If that’s accurate, what thought is (or what thoughts are) creating that fear? What comes up for you after identifying this?

We’re looking forward to hearing what you uncover. Come back for more coaching when you’re ready.