Goal about safety, moving forward

When I evaluated my goal «To feel safe and happy in my body” i came to the realization that I in many ways had already achieved my goal. I have felt safe and happy and continue to feel this feeling more and more.

However, I did notice some thought-patterens that weren´t sustainable in the long run.
I have been consoling myself with the thoughts

– “I won´t die”
– “It is likely that I will be sick for a long time”
– “My body has been through a lot”

And these thoughts has actually been great when I have been really tired and all I have needed to do is sleep. But I have gained some more energy and I feel like somehow these thoughts are holding be back and keeping me in the same rutines. I get scared when I do not follow the action lines that I have made from these thoughts and then I feel unsafe.
I also am struggling with actually experiencing any sadness and grief that I know is necessary when I have these thoughts.

What is a good way to move forward from this?

Thanks!

 

Answer:

Good to see you back, and exploring these goals further.

What would be helpful is to see the model to which you are referring. What action lines are you not following?

If you have created a model from these thoughts, and the actions you wrote are not the ones that actually occur then there are two possible reasons.
1. The feeling that those thoughts create is not the feeling that is going to drive those desired actions.
2. The feeling in your model will drive those actions; however the thought is not the one that creates that feeling.

One way to test out is to think the thought, close your eyes, and notice what you feel. Keep repeating that one thought, and notice what you feel. If the feeling in your model is what comes up, continue to stay in that thought and feeling. What do you want to do when you feel that way? What do you not want to do?

If the actions are the same, then look at when you do something different than what you had in your model. What were you feeling when you did those things? Why were you feeling that way.

Basically, we want to find what is different between when you write the model and what plays out. Let us know what you discover.