GOAL challenges

My goal is to enjoy that I was living in a moment I had wanted to create. I had a good new design freelance job and was making big steps forward in my holistic business. My rocks are – 1. take care of my nervous system, so I don’t get swept away in deadlines and dramas and I can enjoy the process 2. regular thought work to nurture my inner dialogue 3. celebrate the wins, I tend to be good at focussing on what I want to achieve but less likely to acknowledge and love myself for what I’ve done so far

It was all going so well…..
Several curve balls have hugely disrupted my week. My freelance gig got put on hold abruptly as new new director came on board and has indicated she is unhappy with the team (the employed team, not me specifically). The sale of my house fell through. My husband has been suffering with terrible insomnia. My period is late, but clearly soon to arrive, so I don’t feel as resilient.
True to my goals, I have tended to my nervous system with daily yoga, pause for breath work through the day, some somatic moevement. My system is heightened, but I’m tending to it to encourage regulation.
I’ve done all the thought work on my work situation and found a preferred intentional model that I am a competent and experienced designer who is able to handle the uncertainty. The project pause is about the internal company situation. I have made notes for myself to prep for any difficult conversations when the new director calls me. I’ve decided not ruminate on this, I’ve made my notes and put this prep to on side. I am putting my new found time into my holistic work, I’m running a workshop on self massage and skincare next week. But the doubt creeps in, I have to be disciplined to concentrate my thoughts on the intentional model. Heightened anxiety can cause skin irritation for my sensitive skin.
The house move is a roller coaster I have to roll with, despite the uncertainty it creates, it’s not about me.

I tend to not ‘ask a coach’ because I spend the time to figure out my own answers (partly because I’m self aware and resourceful and partly perfectionism). Today I want to ask if there are any other strategies you would suggest? Despite the work, my nervous system isn’t as calm as I want it to be, a stomach knot keep creeping in and my heart rate wants to go fast.

 

Answer:

We are delighted that you came to ask a coach especially because you are self-aware and resourceful…and sometimes a perfectionist. This is another resource that is here for you!

I wonder if part of writing in has to do with the fact that you’ve done everything you know how to do, and yet, doubt and anxiety, a knotted stomach, and a high heart rate are still present…and that means that something has gone wrong in your mind? What if nothing is wrong, and this is your body having a natural, albeit uncomfortable, response to stress?

I’d recommend asking yourself these questions:

• Why do I think I’m feeling what I’m feeling?

• What is my body telling me that it needs?

• Can I allow myself to have the physical experience of stress knowing that this is my body’s doing it’s job? If I can’t, why not?

• What can you say to your body that will help right now?

• How can you complete this stress response?

• List the small things that remind you that you’re safe (the glimmers).

Lastly, let’s roll that third rock. What are you doing well right now? What do you have to celebrate about how you’re moving through this week?

We would love to know what you uncover, so bring your responses back for more coaching if that feels aligned.