Goal Setting

I still haven’t managed to set a goal, and this has been causing me some anxiety. Today I had a bit of a breakthrough, though: I’m struggling to set a goal because I am already working towards two goals that I set at New Years. The first was to choreograph a handbalancing act and the second was to get contracts for my editing business with one of the publishers I was interested in. I’m on the cusp of achieving both of these– in fact I did achieve the choreography one, and am performing it – another goal – next week; and am negotiating a contract with a publisher for work that would start this month. Both of these things are going to cause some stress in my life (performing makes me nervous; the contract is a tight timeline) in the next month or two. So setting another goal to achieve in the next 90 days is feeling like too much.
I have considered setting a more internal goal to help me get through any stress – things like healthy eating, or getting outside, or journaling. These things are mostly habits for me anyway, though, and turning them into goals seems like it would put pressure on me and cause me stress if I didn’t manage to do them one day. Any suggestions for how to move forward and conceptualize goals right now? Or is it better for me to wrap up my current “goals cycle” before setting new ones?

 

Answer:

What is the purpose of setting goals to you?

The way the question is written is that it is all about the result of achieving them. That is why you feel pressure when you think about setting a goal, even if it is something you enjoy like getting outside.

It may seem confusing to say that the purpose of setting a goal is not to achieve it. That is not exactly the message. The purpose of setting a goal is to grow to your greatest potential. That is achieved not be completing your goals. It is achieved by the growth from the obstacles getting there. It comes from stretching a little bit beyond what you believe. It is all the things you learn from trying and failing. If you believed that you would become your best self from the journey to your goals, how would you feel? How would you answer your questions about moving forward with goals?

I do think constraint is important. This means focusing on one thing at a time. So to answer your last question, have you learned all that you are going to learn from working toward that goal? That is how you will know you are ready for the next goal.
I also recommend taking a look at the goals and rocks thread in the community as you’ll see that there are lots of ‘internal’ goals being set in addition ‘external’ ones.