Goals

I started watching the model workshop from 4/19 with Maisie to know what to expect for today’s call, and in the first few minutes I realized I’ve been living in the land of confusion. I’ve been camped in confusion for quite a while; I’d say I’ve been in this space for a year and a half after I left my graduate program (for Wilderness Therapy) in the fall of 2020. I left that program with no clear idea of where I wanted to go next. I decided to leave because I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a therapist, and because so many of the classes transferred online due to COVID. Now I’m enrolled in the program again for this fall, and I’m feeling all of those old doubts come up.
I’m in the land of confusion, but when I open the door to try to get some clarity it’s overwhelming. I think it feels overwhelming because I’ve been avoiding it for so long, and because there are so many areas of my life where I feel unsatisfied. Here are some of the goals that come tumbling out:
1. Find food freedom and let go of binge/restrictive cycles; 2. Find a balanced way to exercise that doesn’t lead to losing my cycle; 3. Get a regular cycle (I currently don’t have a regular cycle); 4. Manage PMDD and depressive phases with compassion; 5. Process my emotions instead of trying to avoid/buffer; 6. Find a place to live this fall–a place that feels like home and with roommates that I get along with; 8. Decide if I am going back to Naropa this fall; 7. If I decide not to go back, find a job that feels aligned this fall (far easier said than done…); 9. Start meditating more and listening to my most aligned self; 10. Re-discovering how to have fun and socialize without depending on alcohol…
There are more tumbling around in there, but I’ll leave it at that for now. So my question is how do I begin? I’ve also set goals in the past that have stayed nothing more than goals on a page. I am excited to be here because goals actually get reached. Where do I start?

 

Answer:

 Congratulations! You have actually just done the first step. The first step is to get it all down and out of your head. This allows your head not to have to hold onto it all, and try to remember.

The next step is to choose one to work on. Take a look at the goals, and which one do you want to do first. There is no wrong answer. Whatever you choose will be the right thing for right now.

The key is that when we give our brain only one thing to work on, it is more productive. You can tell your brain that everything else is written down, so it can let the rest go. If it tries to think about the other things to do, you remind it that they will all be there, and you can choose the next thing when you are done with this goal.

It makes sense that you are overwhelmed when your brain is trying to think of multiple things at once. When you constrain your focus to one thing at a time, it can focus and get it done.

So, how would you need to be feeling in order to decide on a goal – what emotion would help you to make a decision? If you label your answer as part 2 goals then we can follow up and take it from there.