Guidance On Autumn Goal/Decision Making – Part 2

Hello!
After my first question, I took some time to reflect on your answer.
When I read it I felt some resistance, so I knew I needed some time to dig this emotion.
I’d like to share the process here, to see if you have any guidance on that.

As suggested, I initially made a list of the good reasons for being here and in this job. 
What I realised is that even though I like the reasons, I don’t think they’re enough.
 More specifically, I value fun, learning/growth and having a sense of adventure and I don’t feel like I have these anymore.
As I was reflecting on this, the podcast about completion came out and it resonated a lot with my situation.
 I believe my thoughts have changed cause the situation has changed for me.

When I moved to this city, even though it was too “quiet” for my liking, I needed some rest from an intense couple of years. So I thought it was ok for a year or so, at least it was a new place to explore.
Shortly after I moved, I also got this job which was more than I could wish for, in order to fill a 2-year gap in my CV, learn new useful skills and put my saving back into shape.
Then Covid happens, no now it’s been three years in the same place and job. I feel like I achieved my initial goals, but I don’t have anymore fun, growth and sense of adventure, as mentioned earlier.
So maybe what I feel is that these experiences have reach completion. But for some reason I’m afraid to change.

Thus, I knew next steps were a thought download and models to explore why I feel blocked.
 And that’s where it got interesting 🙂

In one model, I found out that I think I got lucky with this job, which triggers feelings of unworthiness. And this could be why I’ve been struggling with taking action to look for other jobs.
I tried to come up with an intentional model for this: C: I have a job T: I deserve this job F: confident A: I’m more engaged/ I write a compelling CV reflecting my achievements/I look for jobs more in line with my interests/I don’t procrastinate during work/I complain less R: I get a new job (?)

In another model I explored my thought that I ought have a job, which triggers the feeling of resentment. This I believe comes from a need of external validation and expectations (e.g. this is what adults do, not make my parents worry etc). And a lack of self-trust in making decision in line with my values, because I might be wrong.
 The intentional model for this would be:
 C: I have a job T: I choose to have a job as long as I need F: Free A: I accept the concept of spending x hours/day to achieve money goals/ I listed to my needs/ I don’t make choices based on what other expect or make them feel better R: I value my needs and desires

.

I kind of knew I had these themes to work on, which led me to sign up to TFC, so it was interesting to discover the direct impact on my current situation!

Based on my reflections, now I think my first goal should probably be to change job and city. 
And among my rocks there’d be working on self-confidence, self-trust and people pleasing.
Does this make sense?

 

Answer:

All that matters is that you feel aligned with your goal. Your brain will still offer you obstacles and thoughts about your choice but that’s ok. It just doesn’t like change. As you define your rocks more you can create actions and thoughts that will help you overcome these obstacles.

Don’t forget to celebrate you for making a decision! This is exciting. Now you just get to go all in and start exploring your options. Watch out for passive action which is where you do a lot of researching and busy work but it doesn’t really move you forward. What you want to do is massive action which means you really start moving towards your goal. As you get started, write down 5 things you believe that will help you get what you want. I like: The perfect job is waiting for me.

I can build the life I want.

The Universe always has my back.

Why not me? Why not now?

You’ve got this friend. Keep us updated on what you make happen next.