Hard day protocal resistance

I’m having a bit of trouble getting on board with all this hard day protocal business… I have 3 reasons for this:

1. I’ve written my list and I’m finding it difficult to look it straight in the eye. I know I do all these things but I basically feel like shit that I do them…so I am finding a lot of resistance in telling myself that it’s OK to do these things again in the future… I want to go into fix-it mode, where I make an action plan on how to never do any of this stuff again. Which I think also includes, how to never have a bad day again…😂

2. It also puts the fear into me that I am giving myself free license to behave like a douchebag to my husband and kids…

3. I’m having a little difficulty with labelling a whole day as hard/bad… And then again, giving myself license to eat junk food for a week/month because a couple of things didn’t go my way. (which I kind of already do 🙈) how hard does the day have to be to implement the HDP?! Aren’t there snapshots of good in these days to latch onto and stop the HDP behaviour?

Basically I am very resistant to all of this HDP stuff… But would love to allow this to be the plan and accept all my douchey-ness…

Answer:

I love this question, and I have a feeling you’re not the only one wondering, ‘How the hell can I be okay with something that I do NOT think is okay!?’  Acceptance is different than approval. You can be at peace with a trait, a learned behavior, or a situation that’s out of your control, and not want to engage in it or feel sad about it. The difference between going into fix-it mode and acceptance mode is that one is shame-based and one is compassion based. Complete this model:

C: List of things I do on a hard day

T:

F: Compassion

A:

R:

Notice if and how this is different than a ‘fix-it mode’ model, or the ‘I’m giving myself license to do this’ model. What comes up for you?

Lastly, a quick nod to your third question…you get to decide what makes a day hard (that definition can change at any time, too!), and there can absolutely be glimmers on hard days. In fact, we hope there are!