Heavy doubts related to life choices.

Dear coaches,
I am trying to understand what I should do with my life. I`m 32 and I feel as if I were in the middle of a life crisis. I doubt every choice I make (regarding what I should invest time in) and every choice feels heavy.
I`ve been a stay-at-home mom for the last 6 years. Went through depression, stagnation, lethargy… and now I am slowly getting out of it all. Feeling the energy and desire to get out of the house and do something incredibly meaningful with my life.
And that is a problem.
Because of the time I`ve spent at home, I now exist with the belief that whatever I choose to do next – should be the right thing for me.
So I guess the model would be:
C: Thinking about what to do
T: I should choose the right thing for me (life is too precious to waste time yet I`ve wasted so much)
F: Pressured, confused
S: tightness in the chest, I feel my heart
A: I am active, but then I begin doubting everything, the legitimacy of my decision. I allow myself to dream, and then I stop myself, and ask “Should I be happy about this? what if I`m not meant for this?;
R: I`m a confused mess.

I realise I`m should-ing myself and that’s not helpful, but I`ve no idea how to get out of here.
Looking forward to your reply,
xo
P.

 

 

Answer:

 

SHOULDING. It’s such a mean thing to do to ourselves! I wonder if a more defined R line might be this: Nothing I pursue is right enough.

I know you know why shoulding yourself is not helpful, but let’s line it out. Why isn’t it helpful for you? How does it keep you stuck? What would being unstuck look like in your mind?

Be gentle with yourself as you’re exploring this. If you could approach this like you were talking to one of your kids about how they want to spend their summer, what energy would you bring to that conversation? Is there a chance you can offer yourself some of that same energy?