Help launching a new relationship with social media

Hi,
As explained in a recent ask a coach, I’m working on a book proposal submission and the initial feedback I’ve had from submitting to an agent is that I need to expand my online presence and grow an audience here.
This will also be so helpful for my freelancing, as I’ve already had commissions from someone who saw me on instagram – so it’s a win win for my career!
So, this will be a big focus next year – and there are a couple of things that I’ve already noticed on this theme that I’d like to unpack in advance.

1. The thought that it’s somehow ‘vain’ to promote yourself on social media
This is something I’ve always thought for some reason – less about others, more myself. I’ve already started to put myself out there more with instagram, but I’d like to intentionally re-frame how I’m thinking about doing that and being ‘seen’.
There are some thoughts about what other ppl I know will think about me too = judging me, thinking I look ridiculous etc… Even though – I don’t care!!

2. How to manage my mind about posting things that get less of a response /not feeling ‘rejected’ by that
I’ve also noticed that when I get fewer likes on something I post, it’s easy to feel embarrassed or rejected. I feel this less now, but it’s still there. Really, I’d like to think that it’s all just information – because it’s about learning how to create this type of content by trial and error (in terms of mastering the algorithm etc)
A great eg I had recently was a video that my work posted of me that went viral on tik tok – 30k views – but when I shared it on my insta story basically no one reacted to it and it didn’t get picked up at all. It was so useful to see that so clearly. Just because something doesn’t get ‘liked’ it doesn’t mean the thing itself is ‘bad’.

3. Being less perfectionist with posting and stopping procrastinating
I’ve also noticed that it takes me so long to post things, but namely because I’ll put it and off and off because I feel like I have to do it perfectly.
I’d like to be taking messy massive action with my posting! To gather more info quicker.
Instead I just don’t share things that I know would be amazing things to share because I put it off and don’t get round to it….

4. Not feeling like it’s ‘possible’ to grow an audience on social media because I haven’t seen it yet for myself
I have a limiting belief that I can’t do it or it’s not possible for me…. even though I’ve seen and heard of other ppl doing it.
Actually I think it’s a case of showing up, and putting yourself out there with consistency, over and over, until something sticks! (An approach I’ve learned with my first year of freelancing this year).
I thought it could be fun to write a list of all the ways I could think to grow:
– researching tips online
– doing a course / or sign up to a newsletter for social media for writers
– buying a sticky phone case to stick on mirror / window to film myself // a tripod
– asking a friend who works in social media for tips on my profile
– brainstorming ideas for content then just having a go at filming them without pressure to post
– make a weekly timeline of the realistic days / times i could post = eg 2 or 3 times
– create templates on canva for types of posts – eg my articles
– create a list of possible content ideas // pillars of my brand

I think these key areas would help me to unlock a new approach to using social media for my work – which I’d like to be part of a new era of putting myself out there and owning myself next year! My idea for a power word is ‘shine’! And I think my relationship with online stuff like this embodies that a lot….

So any other tips on changing my relationship with social media would be much appreciated!

Thanks so much

 

 

Answer:

You’ve got a lot here to work with. Before starting, check in with your nervous system. Showing up online can often feel unsafe. Take care of yourself.  Then, we would suggest you pick one area to focus on for now and keep taking action You don’t have to solve all the root causes before getting started. Often it’s in the doing that all the obstacles pop up so we can address them as we go. Shine is so good. How can you use it to get moving? A fun thing to do is to challenge yourself to post a certain number of times with no expectations at all. Just to do it. They can be terrible or amazing, get likes or not, none of it matters. What matters is you making a commitment and then following through even when it’s uncomfortable.

How many posts do you want to do this month? Take that number and double it. Make yourself a little chart you can check off every time you post. See what happens.