Help With Intentional / Unintentional models (Part 2)

Hello, I’m just coming back to some coaching I received on a previous post.

Answer (Coach):
Nice job with the models. Let’s take a look at how to improve their clarity so they are most useful to you. First of all I’m guessing the C is your goal, and secondly, keep the exact same C in each model you create if you’re doing both a UM and an IM for it…
Unintentional C – Goal to create a profitable yoga business whilst taking care of myself (I added that in for consistency) T – I need to be a better teacher & offer more in order to get more clients and make more money F – Unworthy A- I need to book more classes, get more clients and book more teacher training. I’d say that you make lists of all the things you think you need more of (classes, clients, training), and maybe even book them. What else do you do when you think, ‘I need to be a better teacher and offer more…” and feel unworthy? What would a play-by-play sound like if a fly on the wall were reporting live from your room or your brain? What DON’T you do? R – I create a profitable yoga business but I don’t take care of myself. Your R line is directly connected to your T…so I would say that you reinforce the belief that you need more than what you already have to believe in and see your success.
Intentional C – To create a profitable yoga business whilst taking care of myself T – This is as good as done I wonder if this is could be fine tuned into, “I have exactly what I need to start making this goal a reality” F – Worthy A – Just teach the classes I already have booked and see how they play out so I have more space to nail self care before getting more clients. Try this on and let me know if you like it: Teach the classes I already have booked, assess and reflect on what’s going well and what needs to change, create space to practice self-care…what else? What don’t you do? R – I create a profitable yoga business whilst taking care of myself. “I believe that everything I need to begin already exists within me.”
I love that this is the IM that you’ve created here, but I also wonder what kind of emotional place this was created from…when you look at the IM, how do you feel? Do you feel calm, clear, and dedicated, or do you feel pressure and urgency? I can’t really tell…so I’m asking for you to check in with yourself on this. If you do feel pressure or urgency when you think about being in this model, why? Secondly, is it helpful for you to feel this way? If you don’t…awesome. Keep gettin’ down with your bad self!
Now onto your unhelpful thoughts…the one/s that you’ve listed here are very connected to your UM – they have to do with having enough to be enough (enough education, enough offers, etc). It’s just a thought that you need more than what you already possess to build a successful business. What you do need is a way to take stock of what’s going well, what’s not working and what you’re going to do differently so you can grow how you’d like to grow.
What kind of reflection/assessment practice can you create that will help you track your progress so you see what’s working and what isn’t, and assess what you need change to help you meet your goal? And how can you do this while being kind to yourself and believing that your worth is dependent on how you think about what you have and not on the having alone?

What came for me –
List of all the things (I think) I need more of
– Clients
– Busier Classes
-More Classes to reach a wider audience
– More Teacher training to be a better teacher in order to get more clients (E.g. Adjusting, Sequencing, fascia course, re-visit notes from Yin Yoga Course.)
– More Props – Bricks & Bolsters

What else do you do when you think, ‘I need to be a better teacher and offer more…” and feel unworthy? What would a play-by-play sound like if a fly on the wall were reporting live from your room or your brain?
– Worry that people will get bored of my classes and go to someone else’s class
– I need to be better to get more clients and make more money
– I talk shit about myself

What DON’T you do?
– Be thankful for the students that come to class every week and have done for the 4 years I’ve been teaching
– Don’t celebrate my wins
-Don’t see what is going well

When you look at the IM, how do you feel? Do you feel calm, clear, and dedicated, or do you feel pressure and urgency?
– I feel pressure & Urgency to get more students so that I can earn a living because I’m worried I won’t make enough money to be able to do the things I want to do and I won’t be able to pay for any further teacher training.
– I’m worried that Yoga alone won’t make enough money and think of other ways that I can earn more money
– I procrastinate ALOT
– I don’t use my time effectively
– I feel stressed and unworthy
– I’m worried if I don’t learn more & be a better teacher, people will stop coming to classes and I’ll have no money

What kind of reflection/assessment practice can you create that will help you track your progress so you see what’s working and what isn’t, and assess what you need change to help you meet your goal?
– Record how much I earn each week and class numbers so I can reflect on what classes are doing well and which aren’t. Then I can ask myself if I need to try some different days/times/locations.
– Monthly reviews

And how can you do this while being kind to yourself and believing that your worth is dependent on how you think about what you have and not on the having alone?
– Not make quiet classes mean anything about myself
– Carve time out for own Yoga Practice
– Take Breaks
– Make to do lists so that I use my time effectively and stop procrastinating.

After reflecting on this I realise that feeling unworthy is in the background throughout my life and shows up every where. I’m just a bit stuck on how to address this. Any tips?

P.S I hope the format of my reply is ok? Wasn’t sure how to do it so that it was clear.

 

Answer:

Thank you for sharing all of your responses. It’s fun to see how you’ve processed these suggestions!

Such thorough work, and what a keen insight into the background throughout your life and where it still shows up.

In the Self-Love video in the Cycle Toolkit, one of the things that Maisie talks about is that sometimes when we want to change something (like realizing that our sense of unworthiness permeates many areas of our lives), it’s because we think we need to fix ourselves. Instead, she encourages us to accept and love all of ourselves first and then decide to work on ourselves because we WANT to, not because we think we’re broken and this will help us become whole.

So, while you start to explore this realization, digest the experiences you have after having this discovery. Take time to process and start accepting this part of you. This is where the work starts.

One tool that you can use immediately is to visualize yourself holding the unworthy feeling (however that takes shape in your visualization) like you would a small child or a baby who needs love and care. Imagine embracing it and holding it so that it feels seen and safe. Notice how that changes your thoughts about and feelings towards it. Lastly, I really recommend watching the self-love video (linked above) to start your journey on working on this part of you. Come back when you’re ready for more coaching on this. We’re here for you.