Holding myself back

I’d love some practical advice on something I’ve been struggling with for a while.

I’ve been trying to makes changes to improve my life, every week I set out with some small goals, a lot are relatively simple like go for a walk, spend some time thinking about the vision you want for your house, do a workout, stretch, yoga. And I’m trying to just set one or two of these small aims a week.

The issue is, that I don’t keep them. I continually and for months now, go back to old habits. A lot of the time I consciously know I’m making the wrong choice, like not going for a walk. I think I’m at the point where setting little aims and breaking these promises to myself is actually detrimenting me. They’re made in good intention but I feel like it’s damaging my self worth and causing a lot of internal frustration and confusion.

I think the reality is, that despite being quite unhappy at the minute and having a general dissatisfaction with life, I am self sabotaging. I am deliberately keeping myself stuck in unhappiness, because it’s familiar and I know it.

I just don’t want to keep continuing this cycle, I need to approach things or do things differently. I’m just not quite sure where to go from here.

Appreciate this isn’t a thought model or something really specific. But any advice would be much appreciated.

 

Answer:

 

Yes, this is such a familiar experience! So glad you’ve come to AAC to dig into it.

I wonder if you could tell me about the last time you set the goal to go for a walk and didn’t do it. Why didn’t you go for the walk? What do you think that means about you? How do you feel when you think that? Where do you notice that sitting in your body? What do you do and what don’t you do when you feel that way and think that thought? What result do you think that creates?

Let’s spend some time bringing awareness to why you’re in this cycle before we dive into coaching. What do you notice about this model you’ve created here? Come back to AAC when you’re wanting more coaching on this and we’ll keep working on it!