How do I know what I want?

I’ve been trying to listen more to my body when trying to make decisions, and see how each decision feels in my body when I think about making it, but what I’m struggling with is when a decision that feels big also feels both scary and exciting, but the fear is greater.

My current choice is between buying a house in the UK or moving to Portugal with my bf to live in a small property on his dads land that they are about to move to.

Both options feel really big and scary in my body. I’m trying to remove myself from my brain telling me that there’s a right decision and ‘what if things go wrong thinking.

I’ve written a list of pros for each option, and noticed that the pros for staying in the UK all seem to be keeping me where I know, and in my comfort zone. Whereas the moving to Portugal pros made me feel both excited and terrified.

I’m scared of not living my life and staying in my comfort zone when I feel like that’s holding me back and I’m scared to take a big jump into the unknown. Thanks brain for keeping me safe but I’m struggling on thoughtwork to work with or through this fear and make a decision.

Am I still stuck in trying to make the ‘right’ decision?

 

 

Answer:

Short answer: yes.  Any decision will be 50/50, you just get to choose. There are also many other choices available to you besides these two. Try brainstorming a list of all the things you could do and places you could live as a way to show your brain you have infinite options that would be great and uncomfortable in different ways.

What do you want to do? What sounds the most fun? (and sometimes our comfort zone is the most fun, there’s no right answer here) If you could let go of the fear and the consequences and any judgement you have about what you want for one minute and just make the choice, what would you do? You already know the answer.

You can also add the phrase “for now” to your decision. Your brain wants this to be big and scary because it sounds very long term. But you can buy a house and sell it. You can move and move back. See what comes up for you and bring your next steps and questions back for more coaching.