How long to be in a difficult job situation

Dear coaches,

I have an issue I‘d like to get help by you.
Since 2018 I’m working as a artistic assistant for a very successful an tough professor. The past 4 years I adapted her behavior towards the students which is often times cruel and contemptuous (I know it’s a thought) and I know that they suffer a lot. If been struggling with this behavior since the beginning, but because of my need to get validation from her , I was able to adjust. Now I‘evolved and I‘m prioritizing my needs before hers, which I’m very proud of.
Now here’s the question: For me it seems quite impossible to continue to work with her, cause already now I’m refusing to do the things she asks me to do – I’m seeing things differently than her and we had a big argue at the end of semester. My contract will end officially in September 2023, but we actually decided to extend my contract until she will retire in September 2024 and then leave together. How can I decide when I want to leave? Students asked me to give them a safe space in some kind of forum. I could imagine that this will somehow carry me through the next years. To have my own approach to the students without the presence of the professor. Nevertheless I would have to endure her behavior and fulfill what she wants me to do. It feels like I’ve grown up and developed my own vision and values and because of this I don’t want to accept her way of leadership anymore.
Besides that, I’ve enrolled in a coaching training to start my own business. Another approach to my current situation could be: To enhance my business I’m studying group behavior and different types of leadership and I’m having the opportunity to do that within my job at the academy.

C: my job at the academy
T: I’m using this very rare opportunity to study group behavior and leadership as long as I want to
F: eager to learn
A: study the behaviors of everybody in class – also the professor, challenge their ways of thinking by asking questions, approach: try again – fail again – fail better, watching how I‘ll be feeling about this and THEN deciding when want to leave, commenting my experiences in class, ask the students and the professor to define goals as a basis for later evaluation, even before that: set up the concept of evaluation in class

 

Answer:

Indecision is a decision. Right now you’ve chosen to stay. Now you just get to decide who you want to be inside this job. Your brain wants to tell you that since you have a history with this person and you’ve picked up some of her ways of behaving over the years that you can’t be who you want to be. Your brain is also telling you that because you’ve changed you can’t work together.

Neither of those are true.

How you show up is always in your power. Take some time and write down how you want to show up for your students. Write down how you want to show up as a colleague. If you had love and respect for everyone in this story (students, professor and you), what would you do? Think of the person you want to be and then become them and see what feels different. This could be a wonderful opportunity to study how a person can change their life, just by managing their mind.