How to deal with a disrespectful former client

Dear AAC-team,
I´m struggling how to deal with a disrespectful former client and would like to ask for your coaching on this.
Some years back, I was designing and implementing a complex project for a client which went really well. I put a lot of time and energy into the project, also because it seemed that there was a shared vision, shared values and a long-term collaboration. At some point, we had a fallout. My client had *not* communicated something clearly that was important to them and when this became clear, I was not willing to follow this wish for several reasons. This caused the business relationship to come to an end. In hindsight, I feel manipulated and lied to. Recently, I found out that this client has been using my name and some photos I took on a product website – without asking me for my permission.
Now, I feel in a bit of a dilemma. I could demand to delete my name and these photos from their websites. Given how angry I am at this client, I would love to do that and tell them to go to hell. However, this website is also serving me because it gives me a great showcase without having to ask that client for permission or even talking to them at all.
So, I tried some mental models. It´s messy.
Um:
C:former client presents my name and 3 photos I took (without my face) on their website without my permission.
T: I hate how they treated me, they don´t deserve to benefit from using my name and I want revenge.
F: anger
S: heat and tension in my stomach, tension in my head and fist, tension in my hip and legs
A: I ruminate about how shitty they treated me, what assholes they are, how they lied and did not live up to any of the values I was hired to implement in their b2b relationships for years.
C. I feel more angry, powerless and want to lash out. I feel disgusted, upset, and a lot of energy goes to this topic without going anywhere. It´s a big energy vampire.

IM:
T: how convenient that they provided a good website with my name as the responsible person on it. That´s a perfect showcase for my current and future clients and I don´t even have to talk to that previous client, lest asking for permission.
F: I feel still angry when I think about that client. When I think about the thought only (which takes some effort to focus only on that) I feel motivated to use that showcase to my advantage.
S: energized
A: I archive the current state of that website to make sure I´m not violating any NDAs and use the content to my advantage in meetings with clients. I am glad I can do that without contacting that former client to ask for permission.
C: I can stop ruminating about the client and how to lash out, therefore feeling less angry and helpless. This im requires much less energy from me. I use this project to my advantage.

UM2:
C. I ruminate a lot about how disrespectfully I was treated by a former client.
T: I hate how they treated me, they manipulated and lied, I hope they have a lot of problems with every aspect of their business given how they operate.
F: anger, sadness
S. heaviness in my body, heat in my stomach, tension in my upper body
A: I keep ruminating about what happened years ago.
C: I expend a lot of energy into something that is actually harming me mentally and given the stress, physically. I don´t confront the former client about how they again don´t respect our agreement and the fact that they have to obtain my permission to use my name and photos I took publicly.
IM
T: if this is still bothering me so much until today, I will do something about it and confront the former client.
F: determination
S: strong
A: I figure out what I want from this situation. I make a plan how to communicate to get what I want and reach out to the former client.
C: I stand up for myself and have my own back.
But what do I want from this situation? For now, I want to use the showcase. When I don´t need it anymore, I either want my name and photos taken off the website or a compensation for that.
I´d love to get your coaching on that messy situation.

Answer:

A big round of applause for getting this all out there! Especially when you feel so much emotion around something, it is all the more amazing to even start to untangle what’s happening.

It sounds like there are two separate things going on that are very much mixed together in your mind and in your models. Which makes total sense. But in order to move forward, whether you have a conversation or not, we suggest cleaning some of this up.

We have what happened in the past and we have the 3 pictures on the website now.

How are they connected? How are they separate? Map it out on paper.

See what comes up an bring it back for more coaching.