How to evaluate a ‘soft’ internal goal?

After a ‘SMART’ external goal this spring that I didn’t meet but went in a whole different direction than I expected, I decided to set a more internal goal this summer to work on my foundation: trust myself more. The rocks were more clear to me, and this goal seemed like the umbrella though I’m not sure it hits the nail on the head. Though I’m also aware of the irony of self-doubt in relation to a self-trust goal, so maybe it IS the right one. My rocks are: bouldering (to build strength, stretch my abilities, face fears and build confidence); making space to feel and process my feelings; listen to my body when it tells me to eat, sleep, rest. During yesterday’s call I realized I have no idea whether I’m progressing on this goal. How do I evaluate my progress or achievement? When looking at the rocks: I have been bouldering and it helps me grow confidence in my body and mind, I’m listening to my body more but it’s hard, feeling emotions is the hardest part. I have always lived life in an almost perpetual buffering/procrastination state, and I don’t always know when I am processing feelings, or when I’m seeking distraction. So I have 2 questions: how do I evaluate my progress on my softer internal goal; and how do I work on processing emotions and stepping out of buffering, when it is so deeply ingrained in me?

 

 

Answer:

It’s easy to keep moving towards a goal when we can “see progress.” It’s even more powerful when we just choose to keep going even when there is no evidence that we are succeeding. What if you just decided you would keep working towards the goal of trusting yourself more and you would keep up with your rocks for a year? You just make a commitment and you stick to it and then evaluate in 365 days. DO some journaling around this and see what comes up.

Drop all the judgements and the doubts and worrying about the how and just keep going.  It’s ok that bouldering seems easier to track and processing emotions seems more elusive.Not a problem at all.  Don’t worry about any of that until you look back a year from now.  The point isn’t to get it right. The point is to live this human life fully by opening up to all the highs and lows and failures and triumphs as well as all the messy middle in between.  You are right where you are supposed to be. The Universe is always conspiring in your favor. Episode 77 Building Self Confidence would be a great one to listen to or relisten to.