How to explore why I feel I am not good enough

Hello coaches,
I noticed this T come up and I would like to explore it further but I don’t know the answer. Could you help with this, what questions can I ask myself?
Recently I had a dispute with my husband he told me he always tries to react to my reaction, if I am mad he will try and stay calm. He meant it in a kind way but I felt I was the “bad guy” in our relationship and today I realized this actually means I am feeling not good enough.

 

 

Answer:

The best way to explore is to write down your story. Do a full thought download. Don’t edit or judge anything. Then pull out your circumstance, which is the main fact in your story.  For example

C: My husband said “I always try to react to your reaction.”

You are going to have many thoughts about that. The only goal right now is to explore. When you believe T: I’m the bad guy in our relationship, how do you feel? How do you act? What do you do or not do? What result does it create? Can you sit with your unintentional models and just allow them to be.  Explore them. Love yourself in your reactions. Don’t try to change anything.

What about T: I am not good enough. ?

A great question to ask about your thoughts is What am I making that mean?  You can then put the answer in a model as another thought. See what you find and bring back your models. There’s nothing going wrong here.