How to handle family members who are still acting unkindly/like dicks!

Hello. I am due to go home to my parents soon for 7 nights from christmas eve. And i am worried that i will somehow have to justify my mental and pyhsical health during my stay. Leaving the past in the past, which is what i’ve been working on this year a lot, now when i go home i focus on two things – imagining that i am meeting each of my family members (dad, sister, mum) for the first time, and i focus on shining my light (being my brighest and most loving self). I am also trying to process forgiveness for the past and accepting that i can’t change the people around me. To surrender to accepting them all as they are.

The thing i would like coaching on is how i struggle with the things that continue to happen in front of me – like when we’re sitting at dinner and my dad talks over my mum/disrespects her/ is rude/ sexist to us all. How do i react to this without causing a big argument? He is incredibly child-like and if i tell him to stop doing that then it’s likely he would storm off and ruin the whole lunch/day and I would get blamed. Which is what normally happens. And then i get isolated from my family/ guilt tripped and then there is often huge tears from my mum and sister that we all can’t get on in one house… which is horrible. Another situation i struggle with is my dad will talk emphatically at us all for hours about complicated heavy topics which i find exhausting and saps my energy, causing me to want to take a break upstairs – which i then get told off for because my mum and sister find it rude. However I don’t think they are as sensitive as me and i am a person who needs to re-charge every so often. Especially from characters like my sister and my dad. Any advice would be really appreciated. Thank you!

 

 

Answer:

What if you used what you’ve learned to forgive the past to find peace in the present?

You said you want to surrender to accepting them all as they are. That is truly the key to loving all the amazing humans in our lives.

Going into this week together, what are some thoughts that would help you create the feelings you want about them and about you?

What story do you want to tell when you get back from the visit and catch up with a friend? Envision it and you can create it, no matter what your family does. What do you think?