Huge life shift with a dose of messy imperfect action

I’m about 6 weeks into a new business venture offering holistic facials.

Over all it’s going well! I’m getting bookings. I’m in a version of huge life shift with a dose of messy imperfect action, resisting the urge/need to be perfect.

I’ve had to put myself out there and my nervous system is on high alert. This is a whole new world for me, I’ve spent 20 years designing clothes.
My treatment day this week was fully booked, but somebody just cancelled. Rationally I know this will happen, part of it.
But I can feel the urge to keep checking my phone in an irrational way, checking my booking system.
This customer’s appointment was a rebooking (after giving lovely feedback from her first visit). My brain goes to :maybe I did something wrong, was everything ok on her consultation form.
I’m on high alert for any evidence of mistakes/ I’m not good enough.

Some of the learning courses I’ve done over the last year have been online (just because of kids, logistics) but it feeds this imposter syndrome that flares up at the slightest thing.

I’m doing the thought work and regulation, yoga, breath work. Which helps.
But there is an underlying high alert imposter waiting to be found out. Which is ridiculous because I’m studious, diligent, with perfectionist tendencies (I’m aware of and the work on this is on going).

Usually I’d work this kind of thing out for myself. But I was inspired from todays call to just send this one in for your pearls of wisdom.

Answer:

I’d like to point out that you know the stories that you tell yourself are choices – and that’s awesome. It doesn’t necessarily feel awesome when you know it’s a choice and your brain seems to be choosing the one that feels crummy, but that’s where you are, and that’s okay. You’re not being irrational, you’re taking action from a place of concern or fear or anxiety. It makes sense that you’re doing this if the underlying thought about why your client cancelled is because of something that you did. Of course this is coming up. The shame and blame-laced language and thoughts aren’t serving or moving you forward though.
Let’s flip the coin over and give some air time to other possibilities that could be true in this situation about you (beyond that you’re studious and diligent with perfectionist tendencies). What else could be true about the fact that a client cancelled her reservation? What else could be true about you? Do any of your answers open doors to different feelings? Pay attention to the ones that ring true and feel different. What becomes possible for you when you lean into those? Come back with a follow up (part 2) to this submission when you’re ready. And take a deep breath…nothing has gone wrong. This is all a part of your beautiful human experience.