I am to blame/I have done wrong

Hi,

I am noticing I have a thought error of the following thoughts: I am to blame, I have done wrong, I will always do wrong. I have put the first couple in a model…at the moment they are both interchangeable. I have had a look at this model and the I am to blame seems to be an underlying thought error and the thought I am currently finding keeps coming up is “I am doing it wrong”.

Circumstance: inconsistency of supervisors Advice and suggestions and how they communicate this to me.
Thought: I am doing it wrong and whatever my supervisors tell me each moment in time is right.
Feeling: Shame & demotivated & worried.
Actions: Not trusting myself, inability to speak up to explain and remind them that I have based my rational on what they have suggested previously/how they have conveyed this to me.
Result: I procrastinate, unable to focus, cannot find fun in my work, feel micromanaged, misunderstood and no right to be autonomous in my work.

I have a feeling I may need to reduce some of these but there’s quite a lot to unpack I feel.

Thank you 🙂

 

 

Answer:

First…this isn’t a thought error, it’s just a thought. You aren’t wrong for thinking it. It is not a problem and you are not broken. Your result in your model is simply that you prove your thought true. Then the cycle continues. The good news is, you can interrupt the cycle.

Why is it a problem for you if you’re doing it wrong? What is your brain making it mean? Do a thought download and really let yourself go to the worst case scenario and what you are most afraid of.

You don’t need to rush to an intentional model. Just look at what you’ve discovered and give yourself a lot of compassion. Loving yourself right here, in this moment with all the parts you think are wrong, is a powerful thing.

When you’re ready, come back for more coaching.