I keep thinking that if I could just appreciate this job that I have, I will have be able to find one that I love. All I have to do is show up and perform the minimum requirements.
I’ve had a lifelong judgment of people who just show up for a paycheck. I gave myself value because I cared about the work I was doing. I think that my stability and guaranteed income are more valuable right now. I also have a ton of freedom to do whatever I want for the majority of my work day. I want that to be enough to change my mind that it’s OK if I hate my job. Can I appreciate it and still hate it? I assume that if I am grateful for positive aspects that I won’t believe that I hate it.
The issue is that hating the job takes a lot of energy. In my mind, if I am neutral towards the job and can just show up to do the basics, I’ll have energy to make my life meaningful outside of my work. That path might lead me to finding meaningful work eventually also. Perhaps I’ve created a limiting belief in needing to first stop hating this job before I can be successful outside of it. It feels very sticky.
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