Identity questions

I am hoping to get some help with some difficulties I am having.
I feel that I am finding my mid 40s a difficult time.
I have always enjoyed being active – mainly running and had ankle surgery 1 year ago which has stopped me being able to run like I used to. I’m still managing to run, but slower and less miles (was previously 50 mile per week now up to 15-25 depending on the week)
The main issue is that I feel like I’m less myself- less free, less able to enjoy exploring in this way, less able to be dependable to join running with my lovely friends, less able to be part of the community which me and partner are part of.
I’m also feeling older, and have always felt very young at heart. I think my thoughts are currently affecting the love I have for myself and think it’s link to who I feel I now am as I can’t do what I could previously do.
I’m trying to help myself. I’m doing lots of other physical activities but I guess I just don’t feel myself and this just makes me feel frustrated and sad.
I’ve joined a local womens fitness group which I’m enjoying.
I asked for help last week and my surgeon saw me. He’s is getting a scan and may try a steroid injection. He was great.
I guess I’m not able to manage my emotions between feeling like giving up and just accept that things might not return to where they were, or keep pushing myself risk having more problems.
Im hoping for some guidance on managing my thoughts as I’m really questioning who I am.
I feel self indulgent reading this back and realise thy my life in overall really good. Sorry if it reads that way
Thanks

 

 

Answer:

You have a lot of thoughts about your identity that are based on the version of you that was younger and had different ankles. But you are in your mid 40s and you did have an injury…now what?

Make a list of who you are that has nothing to do with what you do or how you spend your time. It’s a lot harder than listing outside accomplishments. But it’s going to show you that who you are is an incredible human. What if this ankle surgery is the catalyst for your next stage of growth? How could this be happening for you?

You feeling less you is coming from the way you are thinking about yourself. Your relationship with you is the most important and enduring one of all. Invest some energy in improving it and see what happens. Of course we are here to support you. Bring your models and questions back any time.