I’m burnt out at work: quit or fix?

I wanted to bring this to VIP coaching and still might try to get on a call, as this is a big thing I’m stuck on, but would love to get started with some coaching here.

I am doing a PhD in combination with consultancy in a great team, good benefits, a lot of freedom and a field I care about (sustainability & social justice). As I’m paid fulltime I see it more as a job than a degree. I’m almost 2 years into the research, and have very little to show for it. I’ve still not started on my empirical work, and still stuck on writing my first paper. I have very little motivation to keep going. I started this PhD because I wanted a challenge and project that was my own. I knew I would run into my persistent pit-falls along the way (self-doubt, perfectionism, procrastination) but had faith I could use the project to work through them. But my motivation for the topic of the project itself is more intellectual, it’s not really a passion. Now that I’m in the thick of it and have been mentally and emotionally struggling with it for 2 years, I think I’ve hit a wall. I’m burnt out. The constant feeling of failure, not doing enough, not being good enough, missing deadlines, not hitting the milestones, has worn me down.

On one level I feel like I should quit. I have an idea of what I would rather like to do (though I’m unsure of the details & whether I’m ready). But I am afraid that if I quit, I will confirm for myself that I am a failure, that I’ve never accomplished anything, that I can’t do it (or anything). I know some of these thoughts are dramatic, but a lot of them are core beliefs that have been hard to shake. Plus there are other things I want right now (start a family, move into a bigger house) for which it would be really bad timing if I switched jobs in the next year or two. Also it would be tough to disappoint everyone in my project & my supportive supervisors, and to leave my team.

How do I break what feels like this stale-mate? How do I figure out what is best for me: quit or fix it? And if I choose to stay (for now), how do I start working through these deep-seated beliefs that are sabotaging me and holding me back?

 

 

Answer:

Changing your circumstance won’t change how you feel if you don’t manage your mind first. You are an adult and you can do anything you want, whenever you want for no other reason than you want to. Leaving a job because you feel bad about yourself in it will likely just bring those same feelings with you wherever you go. You’ve already recognized this.

Instead of looking at this in terms of the next few years, break it down into smaller chunks of time. What is the next thing you need to do in your research? Do some thought work around what is happening now and what you want to be different. Within that goal break everything down into doable tasks. Recognize that your brain will try to tell you all the reasons you can’t do it. Write them down. Identify the obstacles you may encounter and then come up with strategies to overcome them. Part of these strategies will be making sure you are taking care of your mental health along the way. TFC is here to support you in that!

Start fresh today. The story you have about the last two years is irrelevant. It’s information and you use it how you want but you don’t have to beat yourself up with it. The Autumn workshop is going to be perfect for you. Please do get live coaching or bring your models and questions here.