improving my sleep pt.II

I know exactly what you mean and I think you are right. The reason I set the 8 hour goal was to make it measurable and also to be specific and not avoid working on the sleep (I have been there before).
It is very unlikely though, that I will meet my goal straight away. I imagine I would be disappointed every morning that I wake up and sleep less that 8 hours. The 8 hour goal might add extra pressure (and sleep doesn’t like to be pressured…). If I set a goal that focuses on the things that I can control, I imagine I will feel more motivated. On days I miss to take action (eat the vegetable), I imagine it would be easier to give myself some grace and just start again the next day. It wouldn’t be a disaster.

On the other hand, if the goal doesn’t include the sleepmy thought Is that I am not actually trying to improve the sleep. In my head there is an URGENCY to now finally and quickly improve the sleep, or else there will be consequences. (Of course this seems very dramatic and doesn’t help to improve the sleep, but doesn’t seem too far from the thrush either)

I’m not 100% sure yet how to rephrase my goal.
“take steps to be more energetic and grounded (and invite in a good night sleep)”?

After 6 years of “failing” at sleeping and probably feeling terrible about it, why does it make perfect sense to be scared? What are you really scared of?
I think it makes perfect sense, because I can’t see the future yet. Right now it feels after 6 years it will always be this way. I can’t see yet, that I will be sleeping just fine.
It makes sense because I am currently sick more often than usual and it makes me think of the negative health consequences if I don’t improve my sleep, I also think about the negative consequences for my career and my life in general that I don’t have a lot of energy rn:

Getting seriously sick in the longterm

not being able to maintain a job because of the lack of sleep (negative impact of the sleep on productivity/stress and health)

Negative impact on my finances

Not being able to enjoy my life (meet friends and family, go on trips, enjoy my hobbies, date/find a partner etc.) because I have no energy

Being stuck and not being able to make changes in my life because of the lack of energy

And just the sleep being a defining and limiting in my whole life really.

 

 

Answer:

Good exploration! You can see how much pressure there is on your sleep goal to be the key to unlocking all your other goals.  Give yourself compassion. It’s not easy being tired.

Keep playing with those results and goals that you can control. You can have mini goals that get  you closer to that 8 hours you’re aiming for. What would help you move towards that goal?

So interesting how you’re afraid of getting seriously sick. How does it make perfect sense that not sleeping 8 hours = death in your survival brain? How can you support yourself as you unravel this?