In law visit Part 2

Thank you so much for the really helpful coaching! So, any judgement I worry about coming from them is actually coming from me. Which now seems obvious. I think focusing on how amazing I am is great and how I would show up if I was 100% confident. I’m going to write a list and keep adding to it all week.
Also taking power back and deciding to do these things feels so much better. I’m deciding to not have sex and I’m deciding to spend money and eat out because it’s a fun activity and nice excuse to treat ourselves when we’ve guests.
It’s like I decided to take part in this visit but also was comfortable complaining about it and creating lots of discomfort for myself.
C: in law visit
T: this is for me
F: excited
A: suggest plans, be myself, connect with them, enjoy alone time and cuddling my boyfriend at night, live each day at a time and not overthink the whole week
R: enjoy the visit

I’m seeing how I judge myself a lot in my relationship or how I show up as a girlfriend (or how I appear as a girlfriend maybe?) much more than any other area like friends or work. I know it’s a borrowed thought from society and not one that feels good for me that I should be X or Y in my relationship. How can I work on that?

 

 

Answer:

What a beautiful model you’ve created by looking at things a different way. Congratulate yourself! And then try it out. The visit may be magical the whole time, but it probably will have a few bumps and that’s ok. It’s all for you. Use the opportunity to learn more about you and know that this is a long game. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to show up.

 What do you think a good girlfriend does? Describe her in detail, how she spends her time, what she likes and dislikes, get into her life and all her business. Don’t hold back or judge anything you think, just write it all down.

Then just look at the list. Which parts serve you? Keep them. Which parts don’t? Put a big red x through them. It doesn’t matter where you’ve picked up these beliefs, all that matters is what you choose to believe today. Then if you would like, write a description that incorporates all the parts of you, the parts you love, the messy bits, the full human version of you as a partner. Your love is so lucky to get all of that! And so are your in-laws. 😉