In the wrong body pt. 2

Thanks for all the help so far!

Here I go with the new model:)

C: Looking at pictures of myself
T: I want to come home to myself
E: compassion/softness
A: view myself through the lense of looking at someone I love, look for smiles in the pictures, am I having a good time, saying to myself this is me
R: I am practicing coming home to myself

This was really helpful! I truly feel a lot of softness and compassion towards myself with just this one thought. So I am definitely going to use it.

What has come up as you can see in the model is softer thoughts, but also this mantra of “this is me” and “this is how I look like”, that I am not sure belongs in this model. It feels like it has snuck it self in from a model based in shame. Not because I can´t accept how I look like, but because I would rather not make what I feel like is a judgement while looking at myself.

C: looking at pictures of myself
T: this is me
E: panic
A: freeze, being frantic, eating
R: Being me = being at little frantic

It´s weird because the thought “this is me” should be very neutral, but because this is a touchy subject for me it is loaded with emotions.

So I wonder if this is “just a thought” that pops up inside my model of coming home to myself and if I can avoid it by just spotting it?

If so, how do I move further with this thought of coming home to myself? I really want to explore all the positive emotions it gives me.

 

Answer:

The model you created is beautiful. It feels loaded with compassion and kindness – what a difference! About the thought, ‘This is me’ and the way it ‘should’ be…there is a caveat to this thought. Maybe it sounds something like this, “I don’t like that this is me,” or, “It’s not okay that this is me,” or some variation on that theme. If that’s the case, it makes sense that it’s loaded for you. First of all, that’s okay. It’s your brain saying the thing it’s practiced for a long time – it’s not a fact.

Is it possible that compassionately observing, and beginning to understand and comfort your panic is just as much a part of coming home to yourself as seeing the smiles in the photos you’re looking at? Take some time to get clear on what coming home to yourself means to you, and what steps will need to take to get there. Come back to us when you’re ready for more coaching on your next steps with this journey, and be sure to share in the community when you need support!